The Tiger Woods Sexy Time Scandal

On November 23^rd 2009, an article was published by the National Enquirer detailing an affair El tigre’ was having with nightclub promoter Rachel Uchitel. This was the catalyst for the media assrape of Tiger Woods.

LET IT BE KNOWN. Me, Mitch Higgins, on thishotfire.com called out Tigers integrity 3 MONTHS before any news agency or tabloid garbage mentioned anything about this scandal. But I, the amazing, and near clairvoyant Mitch Higgins wrote this article regarding Tigers integrity.

Of course much more has come out about The Tiger Sexy Time Scandal, including the fact slutty slut-tastic club owner Rachel Uchitel provided Tiger with other ladies. He also did his own Ho recruiting in vegas nightclubs, manhattan etc. All the tabloids and worthless celebrity/entertainment tv shows began reporting that the ladies encompassed women from a cocktail waitress and nightclub owner to a porn star and model. One girl, Kalike Moquin, was speculated to have been doing the hibbity dibbity with Tiger, buuuuut she was just pimping out girls to him too.

Several other money hungry whores also came forward and one reportedly even sold her story about the affair for $150,000. By the way, it was reported that the cocktail waitress that sold her story for $150,000 also banged George Clooney. Classy woman. Veronica Daniels or better known as Joselyn James in the porn industry also plans to have a rebuttal press conference now that Tiger has had his press conference to answer all the media questions.

Basically, a man who was regarded as an icon and a complete goody two shoes golfer has been torn down to a pile of tattered flesh. Look, im not saying cheating on your wife is a good thing, and he should have been prepared for the repercussions of banging all those chicks.. but I AM saying this whole “fiasco” is so miniscule and worthless. The media took a mans life and exposed it 50 times over and sucked every last drop of ratings they could out of it. You could say im exploiting that same thing, which I am… but Ill say it like it is. Im not a nationally recognized news agency, or press pass holding member of the media.. Im just an unbelievably intelligent and ruggedly handsome writer from California that knows so much its almost supernatural. Not to mention I have the modesty of a pope, but not the pope right now that’s involved in child sex scandals. One of the other popes.

The major things I get from this whole situation is how bloodthirsty and brutal the media is. The bottom feeding tabloid National Enquirer snags a hit on Tiger with the first story and once blood is in the ocean every shark and its mom attacked without remorse until they’ve eaten him whole, shit him out, and eaten the new shit Tiger and shit that out. Quite literally. Ive also learned, again, how stupid people are. Every dipshit that believes everything they hear and see on tv sees Tiger as the devil, and hes not. He’s a man who had the world, and enough money to buy and sell my ass. He got offered beautiful women when he partied and celebrated and it turned into a sex-crazed sexfest. Which I, for one, would have partaken in. Gorgeous women, that could or could not have been dirty whores, were offered up like appetizers. Being a rich, athletic, successful professional athlete this was the guy’s life. In gladiator times, a winning gladiator was thrown women by the dozen because men have an insatiable need to tap that ass. To the angry, conservative, and/or feministic women, I understand he committed adultery. Roger that Dykey McDykerson.

The real bad guys here are the media and the whorey slutbags that sold their stories of an affair to the highest bidder. Women who knowingly banged a married man, and then at the drop of a hat came forward with their story for all the money they could get. They took money to graphically explain their sex and affairs with Tiger. Sorry sweet heart, that makes you a whore. Explaining or even showcasing their sexual escapades and openly accepting fame and money contributes to the Paris Hilton syndrome. Kim Kardashian did it, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson and Monica Lewinsky to some extent did it. They banged someone let that video/discussion/interview hit the main stream and hey, now your famous… for being a slutt. Bravo. Daddys gotta be proud.

All in all Tiger cant be fined or imprisoned for adultery, but its hasn’t been a walk in the park. Imagine that you’re a nobody who has been married for 4 or 5 years and your honey baby finds out you’ve been banging the babysitter, and a gaggle of other women. What would happen? She possibly kills you, attempts violence, get divorced, be shunned by friends and family etc. Tiger got his face clawed, a busted lip, and then chased with his own 9 iron, and had his sweet Cadillac windows busted out. Finally culminating in slamming into a tree. All pretty standard with the circumstances. Unlike average Joe Nobody he also got his personal life splattered on every piece of news you could fathom to be viewed by millions of people. He suffered the embarrassment and heartache of going from a beloved celebrity to a hated “playa”. Hes been criticized by every media personality out there, and he lost most of his endorsements, probably his wife, and his kids probably wont look at pops the same way again. LEAVE TIGER ALONE. That is my message.

He cheated, he got caught by his wife.. AND THE ENTIRE MEDIA ARMY, and hes paid for it. I support Tiger and I hope he wins the Masters this weekend, by the largest amount in the history of the event.

VIVA EL TIGRE’!!

Did you know golf has been fighting for a spot in the Olympics for years? And now has the strongest support ever?  Did you also know that no Asian has ever won a major championship?  Soooooo… what could help get golf into the Olympics? Maybe gain the support of Asia??  Let Yang beat Tiger Woods in the final round of the PGA championship!?  BAM!

So Tigey takes a dive, an asian guy wins, competitive spirits grow, golf may get into the Olympics.  Im telling you… ITS TRUE!  LOTS more money to be made with a major sport in the olympics.

The PGA, Olympic committee, and other dudes with money confront Tiger.  Tell him, win all you want but if an asian guy ever gets close in major tournament play when need you to take a dive.  I can almost see the back of Marsellus Wallace’s neck and him saying “The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That’s pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps.”  Fuck pride Tiger.

Tiger chews up and spits out guys like Yang.  He has for over a decade, and for some bizarre reason he didn’t on Sunday.  Tiger normally just grabs the lead and then goes into prevent defense the final day but he kept missing putts, and landing iron shots in the wrong places.  HE THREW THE FIGHT!  Yang made a crazy eagle chip in, and kept landing huge shots all over the place.

Say what you want… golf will be in the Olympics now, because of this… and because I said so.
R7UASFUGBEAB