With the upcoming movie “The Hangover” making its way out this weekend, I thought Id share some thoughts on the subject…
I have suffered from the mighty hangover and have fallen victim to its predator like ways many times.. it stalks you slowly, forcing you to give in to the peer pressure of “Take a shot! Pussy!”… and “Time for a Jack Daniels chug!”..drinking games get easier, you become smarter, vodka tastes like water, EVERYONE is bone-able and cigarretes are the most satisying thing since sex.. but alas, we mortals are not meant to partake in such utopia, so we blackout… Nature, you are one evil son of a bitch. You cant go out, drink an entire handle of vodka and then continue the next day guilt and consequence free. Cant happen. Trust me… oh god, trust me.
The world cant have the good without the bad. You cant win the lottery without paying half of it to taxes, giving more of it to family, and then spending the rest on a mansion just as the real estate market crashes. The hangover is the balance, the yang to drunks yin. The great universe balancing the equation. Yes, I just got that deep about alcohol consumption.
When you think of a hangover, no one ever really has any sympathy for a person suffering from one… you just laugh at them. As I do. You cant think of the last time you had one and empathize… you more than likely ask the dumbass “Hey, want a cocktail?” Just to amuse yourself, and see if they start vomitting right there. Yet when youve awoken from your dark unconcious slumber to the taste of vodka, cigarrettes, and tid bits of food in your teeth, your not in a laughing mood. Your clutching bed sheets in your closed fist fighting off the feeling of yacking your brains out. Sometimes you win, many times you lose. Once youve experienced the Level 5 hangover, as I call it, you either stop drinking or start looking for hangover cures…
If you’re a drinker of any kind, you’ve heard all the hang over prevention tricks, and rumors like take vitamin C, or some OJ before you go to bed. Some people say drink lots of water. Some people say to eat lots of fiber, or greasy food so you can drop a huge deuce and hopefully knock some out. There’s lots of techniques and advice, and the one I love to hear is to pick up another beer and drink it when you wake up. Son of a bitch, if they were right. It works for some mild hangovers, but all it does is postpone the hang over til 3 in the afternoon. Yet again the cruel world only teases you with a miracle cure.
In essence the hang over is the price you have to pay for having a carefree, insane, and god damn good time. Sometimes its worth that price when you can wake up with a women with huge knockers, or you shatter a previously held beer bong record, or take an unprecedented 14 shots all at once. Sometimes a night of debauchery and fun can be worth the consequence, but take it from me dont mix the hard booze… just dont.
