Live Sacrifice for Brett Favre
So I wake up this morning to some news that frightens me, but also makes me laugh my ass off. In Winona, Minnesota a womans car broke down and she was forced to take it into a shop. She explains she was on her way home and that there is a live goat in the trunk she plans to butcher. Yes, a live goat prepped to be butchered. While administering repairs the mechanic hears noises and banging around in the trunk. After blood curdling screams of an animal the guy cracks open the trunk to find a goat painted completely purple with a number 4 shaved into its side. The mechanic said it was tied up at the feet and had a sprinkle of gold along with the purple, the color of the Minnesota Vikings.
At this point I probably would have collapsed in a puddle of my own urine because I would be laughing so hard. But the mechanic kept it together, called animal control and Mr. Goat was saved from brutal sacrifice to appease the football gods.
Theres still no word on whether the lady was cited or if any police action was taken, but from a lifelong Favre fan like myself, this is god damn hilarious. I was under the impression butchering live animals in your home was something only practiced in the south, but this football fan proved me wrong.
So if you learned anything today kids, its that Favre is amazing and will drive people to animal sacrifice.
