Apparently bong rips don’t help with the backstroke… At his first race since being suspended due to the “whacky tobacky”, Michael Phelps lost in the backstroke event Saturday.
After being out for those 3 months this was his first loss in almost exactly a year to American, Aaron Peirsol, who coincidently was the guy that beat him a year ago. So with that loss, a crazy swimming rivalry is heating up. OOOOOO Swimmers. SCARY… actually the bulge is quite frightening.
Analysts at the event said his ass was toast at the turn when he was behind by 0.62. (which is a lot in swimming, I guess) Obviously he was the star attraction after absolute ass-raping domination at the Beijiing Olympics, and those sweet Rosetta Stone commercials, but believe it or not a 17-year-old high schooler, Dagny Knutson, won more events in Charlotte. Crazyness, but she is a female so that downplays any physical abilities.. sorry sweety.
Phelps didn’t even swim the backstroke in Beijing, due to “not fitting into the schedule”. My ass! Its supermans kryptonite. But the guy is such a Manimal, yes, “Manimal”… Im sure he’ll be dominating that event shortly.
Don’t believe me? Well, then your stupid… and take a look at this regular diet by Mikey on 6 out of 7 days of the week when he trains for 6 hours a day.
Breakfast
- Three fried egg sandwiches with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions, and mayo
- One five-egg omelet
- A bowl of grits
- Three slices of French toast with powdered sugar
- Three chocolate chip pancakes
- Two cups of coffee
Lunch
- 1,000 calories of energy drinks
- One POUND of pasta with tomato sauce
- Two large ham and cheese sandwiches (with mayo) on white bread.
Din-Din
- 1,000 calories of energy drinks
- A full size pizza
- Another POUND of pasta with tomato sauce
That diet in itself could be the actual definition of “Manimal”. Unfuckinbelievable. They say his diet comes out to about 12,000 calories while hes training, and some professional dieticians say a human being could die eating this much if not doing intense training. Wow. I say a stoner could do it on 4-20, haha maybe Phelps takes a couple bong rips before practice… I mean who the hell can s
wim for 6 HOURS, every day and remain entertained. A really high guy, that’s who. I don’t criticize Phelps for smoking some green dizzy, as a matter of fact I don’t criticize ANY athlete for smoking weed. Its stupid. It’s the opposite of a performance enhancing drug… just keep your eyes on the guys injecting raw steroids into their asses and leave the pot smoking athletes alone. If they can go to town on the bubbler and then win 8 gold medals, then they are even more fucking amazing to me.
All in all I don’t think Phelps never should have been suspended. Hes an American hero, and he smokes pot. EAT THAT GOVERNMENT AUTHORITY! I do believe any man that can win 8 gold medals at one Olympics is a freak, and should be able to eat and smoke all he wants. He may look like a Neanderthal but, hes a physical specimin the likes we’ve never seen so to hear about this loss is very bizarre. Yet my money is on him turning it around and handling the backstroke like a champ.
