Why?  WHY THE FUCK!?  Obamas approval ratings are in the crapper, and he decided to go on The View.  If you could see me in person, Im slamming my face into the wall next to me… repeatedly.  This is the same show where one of the co-hosts didn’t know the world was round.  (im not joking)

Obama and his wife did appear on the show when he was campaigning for president in 2008, which I cant fault him for because you need to appeal to all people to get votes, even women dumber than an inanimate object.  I mean, Mrs. Obama even admitted she didn’t wear panty hose on the show, which is HEAVY STUFF.  I just smashed my head into the wall again by the way.  I understand that the president of the United States needs to reach more people by going where they are… TV.  Yet why in gods name on the view?  Why?  The dignity of the White House is disappearing faster than a reality TV show contestant and its sad to watch.

This is the first time a sitting president has gone on a daytime TV show according to ABC.  So hey, why not go on this soft-news, ‘women gossiping about inane things’ show.  PERFECT!  Lets talk about the newest reality show, the newest purses from coach, shoes, oh yea… and the well being of the citizens of the United States.  Jesus Christ I feel sick to my stomach.  Our commander and chief of all militaries is going on the biggest lump of shit in a tv talk show, to talk about god knows which pop culture topic. We all get to watch one of the most powerful men in the world trade shots with the likes of Elizabeth Hasselbeck, whos claim to fame is eating worms on a reality TV show.

The media landscape and the way people digest news and politics has changed, I wont be ignorant to that.  With Twitter, facebook, google, wikipedia and others it’s a different world than it was 10 years ago.  For Christ sakes, a top commander of a war in Afghanistan was removed from his post because of an article in Rolling Stone.. over 92,000 classified military reports were leaked online, and Tiger Woods affairs trumped the passage of multiple senate bills.  Things have changed, but not to the point of desecrating the office of the president enough to go on The View.

The Press secretary Robert Gibbs actually said this was “another opportunity for the president to talk to people where they are.”  So they openly admit where people are is watching a tv show in the midday on a weekday.. Smart, great logic Gibbs.  Apparently going on The View, according to Gibbs, is a great way to communicate with all the men and women of the US.  Really?  All the men?  Last time I checked ALL men weren’t retarded and/or gay.

This is a show where it will most likely concentrate on Obama’s sex appeal and appearance but will anyone care past moronic View watchers? Likely not. In the time it takes to tape the show and then air it, a conservative dipshit like Sarah Palin or Bill O Reilly will have blogged or tweeted, and Fox News will have aired a days worth of shit ripping a “liberal” white house. All the while we are still in a pointless war, the economy is still unstable, and the Gulf of Mexico is 90% spilled oil and 10% ocean water. You want to appeal to people?  You want to reach people Obama?  Choose a different way than a bunch of women blabbering about your exercise routine in the White House… Hell, you obviously want to appeal to women.. so go on Oprah, at least I can respect Oprah.

You want to know what this will do?  It will get multiple internet clips of the shows conservative, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, attacking the president and furthering her career while Obama looks dumber.  Sparring with Elizabeth Hasselbeck and being hit on by a few other very old, and very ugly women is not my idea of progress Mr Prez.  Get back in the oval office, do some god damn work and quit trying to appeal to daytime tv show watchers.

Laughing like massive potheads and discovering the world as only two young misogynistic guys can do… They had me laughing like butthead, licking fly zappers, and using tampons to stop a bloody nose.  Its highly imitatable kiddies.  Yet in the later 90s Beavis and butthead went bye-bye, but not before the film “Beavis and Butthead Do America” was made which is a classic of modern filmmaking.

Ever since the show ended 13 years ago rumors have gone around thousands of times that it was coming back.  Mike Judge even messed with people on several occasions but nothing came about except DVDs, and holiday specials.  Although now, Mike Judge may be working on about 30 new episodes, much to my childish delight and sick humor cravings.

Im not only excited about new episodes of the show with skits, but how awesome would it be to see music videos again?  Those things don’t even hardly exist any more.. Beavis and Butthead could single handedly bring that shit back.. and rip into the weird garbage of lady GaGa, or just laugh for 3 straight minutes to a Justin Bieber song.  I would like to see that, and other people should too.  It might actually force music to be awesome rock again… not poppy crap, or pussy emo music.. but legit Rock.  Mitchy likes this idea.

In the past when old rumors came up or interviewers questioned him about it, it was almost always “Im just too busy, or I have to much going on.”  Well King of the Hill is gone, the Goode Family bombed and Mike Judge has no movies in the works.  ITS TIME MIKE JUDGE.  Beavis and Butthead are needed to rip into the dipshit youths of today.

After several painful seasons of the Sarah Silverman show, its finally over.  The painful rants and raves of a woman comedian desperate to be a dude, is finally over.

I have disliked ol Silverman for years, but in her defense I have wanted to see her naked.  That’s about it.

Shes been doing over the top cleverless shock humor forever and annoying the FUCK out of me and many others for a long time.  When I heard she got a show on comedy central I literally threw an xbox 360 controller against the wall shattering it to pieces.  How does this dumb ass chick get a show!?!?  She makes jokes about shitting on Martin Luther King and slams down a racist joke with ease.  Ooo, I cant think of something funny so Ill say something offensive… Certain other people do that too.  Kindergartners.

Now please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t find much of anything offensive… just annoying.  I laughed my ass off when South Park showed Buddha doing lines of coke, and certain over the top humor is funny when used in a clever way.  Her humor has never been clever or funny…  Shes gotten work banging her way around Hollywood, and after Kimmel dropped her, oopsy there goes the show.

Lisa Lampenelli is so distasteful and offensive I actually cringe at times, but shes still CLEVER.  Theres actual work to her material.  I can respect that. Silverman has horrible comic timing and a strained awkwardness whenever she attempts to make any joke.  Shes like fingernails on a chalkboard manifested into a human being. The “I’m a cute little insulting chick” is not only stale, it’s annoying.  If she wasn’t cute or was just an average dude, she wouldn’t have garnered any attention.

So maybe some of you are asking why do you hate Sarah Silverman so much?  Well reader, its not simply because shes unfunny and tries too hard its because she tells a joke and when no one laughs she and a group of people/morons blame you for not understanding this joke.  “I seem to be attractive but oopsy, look what obscenities just came out of my mouth!” GOD DAMN YOU… Please go away..  The apologists out there defending her material are morons.  Does real humor need to be explained and then defended?!

Some comedians happen to be of a certain racial or religious background and use it as a reason to make racial or religious jokes.  She uses the excuse of being jewish to tap into that.  Then when the joke bombs and isn’t funny… she proceeds to say something like I pooped out of my butt, or my pussy is itchy.  Save the witless poop, pee, and vagina jokes for maybe scary movie 8.  If your over the age of 12 and find this worthless sack of human funny, YOU are the problem.

Thanks to whatever magical cancellation fairy out there that has finally cut out her fucking show.  GOD ALMIGHTY THANK YOU.

Back in 2006 I was a busy man with lots of projects and working on a book when Heroes premiered on September 25 2006, so I didn’t catch it from the start.  But in early 2007 a friend started talking about a new show that sounded a lot like X-men… Since The X-men kick all kinds of ass I decided to check it out.

After watching all the episodes in the series thus far I got addicted.  I couldn’t stop watching the first season.  I watched the first six episodes 3 times each.  It was awesome, and had a formula of sucking you in like Id never seen.  With a bonanza of ads and marketers hitting up every message board on the internet, they hit the nerds first.  That’s always a good move, and with nerds aware of a new Sci-Fi show they had a great base. Then to attract the every day viewers and morons of pop culture they recruited pretty people to star in the show, and incorporated award winning special effects.  BAM! Ratings gold.  The first season’s 23 episodes hit an average of 14.3 million viewers in the U.S., receiving the highest rating for any NBC drama premiere in five years.  The American Film Institute, Writers Guild of America, Hollywood foreign Press association and more all licked the balls of Heroes calling it the best show, and series of the year.  It had great writing, good acting, and looked awesome in HD so I thought it was the best drama series I had seen on TV in a long time.

NOW COMES ALL THE BULLSHIT.  When season one ended I felt like I wanted to punch my TV.  It was like the whole season I was getting the most awesome blow job ever and then when I was about to finish up the lips were removed and I was punched in the face.  Very upsetting.  Everyone was waiting for a huge super power battle between Sylar and Peter, and anyone who wasn’t is a homo… That’s right I SAID IT.  That battle didn’t have to happen to appease me, but Jesus Christ, 22 and three quarters of awesome episodes just to have a minute and a half of one sword stab and two guys flying away in each others arms.  Fuck you Heroes.  Maybe having Peters brother sweep him away to blow up in the sky, and Hiro doing a quick stab through Sylar’s chest was done to save money on all the special effects they would have needed to do. Why the hell did I say maybe!? I’m positive it was done to save money because I sure as hell know it could have been exponentially better.  I wasn’t looking for an ending or one final battle of good conquering evil, because it’s a TV show, I understand it needs to keep going… but COME ON.

Once I got into Heroes it happened to be one of the very few shows I watched when it first premiered on TV as opposed to watching it online or otherwise.  So when season one ended with a shank I was left with blue balls, I didn’t really feel like watching any more and when it came back from its hiatus, I didn’t watch. Apparently other people felt this way too, because ratings dropped 15 %. Yet some how the marketing genius’ sucked me back in and I was back on Monday nights watching Heroes.  Other people didn’t quite feel the same and by episode seven Heroes dropped to 9.87 million viewers.  Damn near cutting ratings by 40 %.  This would be a death blow for any other show, but Heroes is one of NBC’s best in the 18-49 demographic, as well as having strong international appeal so they keep it alive.  When the big twist hit just after episode 7 it slightly came back up but still ended at 11 million which was still 3 million lower than the average of season 1.  Then to make everything worse the writers strike happens and cuts the 24 episode second season down to 11.  So I can’t directly slam Heroes for the downfall of the story here, but it hurt ratings and viewers again.

So now Season 3 begins, A YEAR LATER, and its with a 3 hour bullshit “meet the fans” and “catch up on the red carpet” pre-show.  God damn man, fluff me a bit more why don’t ya.  The ratings die again, and of course the producers chalk it up to the writers strike, but give me a break your showing an hour of pre-show that’s 50 % commercials and 50 % actors trying to be hosts… this blows.  Yet finally after 2 hours of garbage the premiere pops on and its pretty slow but like the Heroes of old it set up tons of promising story lines and crazy twists to what we know.  Then the first few episodes are actually pretty good and have all kinds of questions bubbling, then Peters dad is shot and the entire thing starts to crumble and we lose interest all over again…

So this brings us to the present and there are only 3 episodes left before it goes on break until September and without some of the most amazing shit ever, this show may be dead to me.  Its constantly filled with more commercials than any show I can think of, the writing has fizzled out like a bad fart and I’ve been left disappointed.  A man can only take so much…  Somebody fix Heroes…

Message to the Producers:::  I will write for this show and make it fuck-your-face awesome.  Just give me a chance.