The Avengers film is right around the corner and Marvel/Disney is really pushing out origin movies for the main team; we’ve already had Iron Man and The Hulk (though Edward Norton will not return for The Avengers I’m sure his movie will serve as the story for the new guy) and through those two franchises seeds have been planted for the other members of their universe including, but not limited to, Nick Fury. Captain America’s story will be told later this year and Spiderman (whether he will be in the Avengers or not is yet to be seen) will follow. Today, however, belongs to Thor; and boy did he steal the show!

Before I continue I just want to point out that Thor is probably the only hero in all the realms I know the least about, so this is a rare opportunity for a comic book nerd like myself to see something through the eyes of your average movie goer. Thor did a fantastic job of immersing the audience with the necessary knowledge to watch this story and not be confused, though you get the sense that there is a lot more to the story that has yet to be told.

All of the locations used in the film were very well done and incredibly believable, Thor’s homeland of “Ass-Guard” (spelled phonetically for lols) was beautiful and, despite being all CGI, looked breath taking and real; I am stunned by how far CGI has come in the past 10 years! The planet Hoth felt very hostile and was an amazing contrast to the warm and inviting Ass Guard, the film makers did an incredible job of showing us that not everything is Asses and Guards and New Mexico. In the end I would love to have big painting Odin, played by, Anthony Hopkins standing proud over his kingdom.

The casting was all hit and no miss with Odin and Thor standing out. Anthony Hopkins was born to play a god-like figure, take that Morgan Freeman, and Chris Hemsworth as Thor was perfect! I had voiced initial concern for the use of Hemsworth, as I felt his genuine personality would have better suited Captain America, but I am certain now that no one else could play the brash and cocky son of Odin. Of course there is no forgetting my bride-to-be Natalie Portman who plays Thor’s love interest (if you couldn’t have guessed that then you’re dumb), she does a good job balancing his ego and unusual manner of speech.

My biggest concern with this story was that with all the other Avengers, who are grounded in forms of reality, Thor would be impossible to believe and sympathize with, and on the flipside if you try to make Thor more believable then you lose what makes him awesome! Well I got the sense that the director was more in the way of pleasing the nerds and sticking true to source material but fortunately it’s so different from what we expect that it was amazing! Thor uses his hammer as the source of his power and he spins it really fast and uses it to fly and shoots lightning from it! Now come on, that little hammer does all that? Hell yes it does and it looks like fun! If you look at picture of Thor it seems like his cape is just over exaggeratedly draped over his shoulders and it’s like that in the film which adds to his aura of ego!

This film isn’t all rainbows and butterflies; well actually it is a lot of rainbows… I did experience several moments that pulled my imagination from the movie and made me giggle or sigh. Most notably all the major character changes that take place during the course of ONE DAY! I’m to believe Thor learns his lesson (again don’t kid yourself because you know every hero does) in 24 hours? I get that two hours isn’t enough to really convey the entire story but TONY STARK WAS IN A CAVE FOR MONTHS…..WITH A BOX OF SCRAPES!!! Thor also kind of had a Jesus moment which made me think of Superman Returns which made me face palm. I was mildly disappointed with one or two of the fight scenes but ONLY because I am not a fan of the close up shaking camera, I feel that some of the choreography is lost. I also got the sense that SHIELD really has no clue of anything and they just run around playing James Bond with their toys. All that being said, however, Thor is an instant classic which I will see again and buy on Blu-ray when it’s released! If you are a fan of summer blockbusters then go see Thor. If you are a huge comic book fan then go see Thor!! It’s got something for everyone. Oh, and be sure to STAY AFTER THE CREDITS because it really sets the scene for The Avengers!!!

Just like the TV show, and the 2 films previous to this movie… this movie is rude, crude and completely jackass-tastic.  If you enjoy the low-brow toilet humor sprinkled with nut shots, then this film is your cup of tea.

From the opening seconds to the end of the credits I was laughing my ass off.  There was also a beautiful cameo to intro the movie with Beavis and Butthead, which brought back a lot of memories.  There were also cameos from Sean William Scott, Rivers Cuomo, and others..  The movie gloriously showcases the massive misfortune of others, to laughter that could bring you to tears.  Sometimes just figuring out what is about to happen is enough to make you wince… Like staring down a hallway gauntlet of dangling stun guns and cattle prods..

The 3D aspect of the film is exploited to the max, from explosions to a giant dildo being shot right at you.  This might be some of the best 3D ive seen since Avatar, and I mean that seriously, because it wasn’t some shitty ‘after-the-fact’ conversion.  Not everything was 3D like the hidden camera pranks etc, but when it was utilized, they made the best of it.  Nothing is quite as ridiculous as watching a makeshift gun/launcher send a dildo right into your face.  On top of the 3D is the use of the Phantom camera which shoots at 1,000 frames per second… so watching someone get punched in the face unexpectedly is captured in High definition slow motion showcasing a whole new level of funny.

This movie probably wont win any new fans, but make the old ones laugh until they hurt, or come to the precipice of vomiting.  I recommend this to everyone to go and see just how stupid/insane human beings can be, and quite possibly laugh until you shit your pants.

Does a movie claiming to be based on a true story really garner more attention? I think it’s safe to say it does, even when it, in fact, wasn’t based in truth at all. Just ask the Coen brothers. In 1996, they released a little movie called Fargo. The original poster for Fargo clearly showed the film as being “Based on a true story”. Hell, even the opening of the movie states “This is a true story”. So why didn’t audiences care once they discovered they’d been duped? Because Fargo is a goddamn good film, and to the brothers’ credit, they admitted to the lie fairly soon after the film released, citing their fib as a “stylistic device”. Also, to be fair, human beings DO live in Fargo, North Dakota, so technically it is based on a true story.

Which brings us to 2010, where Catfish, a documentary about (to be quite vague with the synopsis) a young man finding love over Facebook, is catching fire all across America. The trailer for the film touts “Not based on a true story, just true”, indicating everything that we see is 100% authentic and completely unscripted. While I do believe the film is entirely unscripted, I’m not sure I buy how “authentic” it actually is. I’m not the first person to accuse the film of being less than true, and as the film opens to wider audiences around the country, I very much doubt I’ll be the last. While the naysayers aren’t buying into the film’s authenticity, most are still proclaiming it as a good, solid movie. I, for one, do not fall under that category as I found Catfish to be an utter waste of time. The film is not at all the suspense thriller the marketing makes it out to be, nor is it anywhere near “the best Hitchcock movie Hitchcock never directed” as the Financial Times boasts.

Let’s start from the beginning: When I first saw the trailer, I couldn’t wait to see this movie. It begins by showing a photographer who starts up an internet correspondence with an eight year old girl (probably the creepiest aspect of the whole movie) who has impressively painted a picture of one of the photographers published photos. Over time, the correspondence blossoms into a friendship not only with the little girl, but with her family as well, via Facebook and phone conversations with the girl’s mother and 19 year old sister. The photographer becomes quite smitten with the 19 year old, and when a job opportunity presents itself that would allow the photographer to drop in on the young girl and her family (rudely unannounced, might I add), this man, along with the two documentarians, his brother and some other guy, hop on a plane to do just that. The trailer closes as the photographer walks up to a dark farm house and peers into the pitch black window, the words “Don’t let anyone tell you what it is” pop up, enticing me to blurt out excitedly “Okay, I won’t!” Then the trailer ends showing the film’s title imprinted into what appears to be a catfish-shaped blood stain on a black backdrop. Holy shit, I’m terrified. This movie is going to be the next Blair Witch, right?
Nope. Unless you thought Blair Witch was bullshit, then yes, it is exactly like Blair Witch.

I’d read up enough on the movie to know it was more of a drama than anything, but even then I couldn’t help but be disappointed with the outcome. All I could think walking away from this movie was “Don’t let anyone tell you what it is? No shit, then no one would want to see it.” I’m not going to reveal what the story is, but if you really want to know and don’t want to waste your money like I did (I could have physically eaten the ten dollars I’d paid to watch this and subsequently had a more fulfilling night on the toilet), then look up a recent episode of 20/20 which profiles the entire movie and its subjects. It manages to be much more compelling in a shorter amount of time.

My biggest problem is when watching these smug assholes on screen, I couldn’t help but get the feeling that they knew exactly what they were going to capture on film the whole time. That when they quickly realized early on something strange was going on with this eight year old girl and her family, they had the immediate thought to turn on some cameras and exploit some folks. Fuck them for that. And double fuck them because it worked. If I felt for a second these three hipsters were out to make a genuine documentary, I might have enjoyed this film as much as everyone else seems to be, but if they are exploiting a family to further their own filmmaking careers, whether this family deserves it or not, then…did I already say “double fuck them”? Well, then quadruple it.

By the way, when these filmmakers were questioned about the realism of Catfish at a Q&A for the film, one of them defensively responded “So…we’re the best writers in Hollywood?” They then shut the Q&A down. First of all, isn’t it a tell-tale sign someone is lying when they get overly defensive about being called a liar? And secondly, hey, dickhead, just so we’re clear, even if this was scripted, it would make you a mediocre writer at best. Not exactly a web of mysteries we’re dealing with here. It’s the simple story of some dude being lied to by someone else over the internet. Your story didn’t blow me away in an M. Night Shyamalan circa ’99 kind of a way. It was more like M. Night circa nowish.

Bottom line, if you really want to see a movie about Facebook that claims to be a true story, go see The Social Network, which if you pay attention to the marketing, doesn’t rely on the “true story” hook to get people in seats. It lets its acting, writing, directing, editing, score, and everything else that goes into making a well-crafted movie, speak for itself. And then watch Fargo. It’s goddamn good.

Kings of Fucking Leon…

That’s right, on multiple occasions these gods amongst men have turned down one sell out licensing opportunity after another.  When American Idol calls up and wants to use your music, most bands would stab young children in the way of the phone.  When a Tv show with millions of viewers offers that opportunity, NO MATTER HOW FUCKING HORRIBLE, they would suck somebodys dick to hand over the licensing.  Yet on multiple occasions Kings of Leon says ‘Nope’.  In a time when no one cares about their art or craft and exploit any opportunity no matter how pathetic.. these guys have turned down Glee, American Idol, Ugly Betty, and an high profile movie that they wouldn’t name.

Not only have some of these opportunities been as easy as a signature, but they have also been for the opportunity to get mass exposure but they shut em down.  For the high profile, and unnamed movie they explained that the star of the film actually called them personally to request use of the song.  But not even an A list movie star is making these guys budge.

I respect the hell out of that… That’s integrity you cant fake my friend.  Or maybe they just learned how douchey you can look by licensing it out to a gay ass show.  Im making reference to 2008 when the band did a licensing deal with ‘Gossip Girl’ for 3 songs.  They have yet to license a song out to any other shitty teeny bopper show like Gossip Girl since this.

Have you ever been forced to watch a shitty show by your girlfriend?  Gay friend? Or other trendy hipster?  And half way through this pile of dogshit, you hear a song being played by a favorite band?  Ill be honest, an old girlfriend had me watch one, AND ONLY ONE, episode of The OC and after a second commercial break I hear a song from The Killers and immediately disliked this band from that point forward.  Its sad to see bands with potential sell out to a fucking horrible show.. If you sell out to Kick Ass 2, or some other awesome movie, that’s fine.. it’s a good product.  Yet when I hear your song play on a trendy tv show or retarded commercial.. your dead to me.

All in all Ive got to respect Kings of Leon from avoiding licensing out their music to poppy garbage like Glee and American Idol.  Although its exposure to millions of people and a nice paycheck… its still a gathering of trendy douchebag tv.  So I invite you all to take on my perspective to help stop bands from selling out so hard.  When you hear a band licenses their music to a god awful show, then you cut those bastards OFF.  DO IT.

Why?  WHY THE FUCK!?  Obamas approval ratings are in the crapper, and he decided to go on The View.  If you could see me in person, Im slamming my face into the wall next to me… repeatedly.  This is the same show where one of the co-hosts didn’t know the world was round.  (im not joking)

Obama and his wife did appear on the show when he was campaigning for president in 2008, which I cant fault him for because you need to appeal to all people to get votes, even women dumber than an inanimate object.  I mean, Mrs. Obama even admitted she didn’t wear panty hose on the show, which is HEAVY STUFF.  I just smashed my head into the wall again by the way.  I understand that the president of the United States needs to reach more people by going where they are… TV.  Yet why in gods name on the view?  Why?  The dignity of the White House is disappearing faster than a reality TV show contestant and its sad to watch.

This is the first time a sitting president has gone on a daytime TV show according to ABC.  So hey, why not go on this soft-news, ‘women gossiping about inane things’ show.  PERFECT!  Lets talk about the newest reality show, the newest purses from coach, shoes, oh yea… and the well being of the citizens of the United States.  Jesus Christ I feel sick to my stomach.  Our commander and chief of all militaries is going on the biggest lump of shit in a tv talk show, to talk about god knows which pop culture topic. We all get to watch one of the most powerful men in the world trade shots with the likes of Elizabeth Hasselbeck, whos claim to fame is eating worms on a reality TV show.

The media landscape and the way people digest news and politics has changed, I wont be ignorant to that.  With Twitter, facebook, google, wikipedia and others it’s a different world than it was 10 years ago.  For Christ sakes, a top commander of a war in Afghanistan was removed from his post because of an article in Rolling Stone.. over 92,000 classified military reports were leaked online, and Tiger Woods affairs trumped the passage of multiple senate bills.  Things have changed, but not to the point of desecrating the office of the president enough to go on The View.

The Press secretary Robert Gibbs actually said this was “another opportunity for the president to talk to people where they are.”  So they openly admit where people are is watching a tv show in the midday on a weekday.. Smart, great logic Gibbs.  Apparently going on The View, according to Gibbs, is a great way to communicate with all the men and women of the US.  Really?  All the men?  Last time I checked ALL men weren’t retarded and/or gay.

This is a show where it will most likely concentrate on Obama’s sex appeal and appearance but will anyone care past moronic View watchers? Likely not. In the time it takes to tape the show and then air it, a conservative dipshit like Sarah Palin or Bill O Reilly will have blogged or tweeted, and Fox News will have aired a days worth of shit ripping a “liberal” white house. All the while we are still in a pointless war, the economy is still unstable, and the Gulf of Mexico is 90% spilled oil and 10% ocean water. You want to appeal to people?  You want to reach people Obama?  Choose a different way than a bunch of women blabbering about your exercise routine in the White House… Hell, you obviously want to appeal to women.. so go on Oprah, at least I can respect Oprah.

You want to know what this will do?  It will get multiple internet clips of the shows conservative, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, attacking the president and furthering her career while Obama looks dumber.  Sparring with Elizabeth Hasselbeck and being hit on by a few other very old, and very ugly women is not my idea of progress Mr Prez.  Get back in the oval office, do some god damn work and quit trying to appeal to daytime tv show watchers.

Laughing like massive potheads and discovering the world as only two young misogynistic guys can do… They had me laughing like butthead, licking fly zappers, and using tampons to stop a bloody nose.  Its highly imitatable kiddies.  Yet in the later 90s Beavis and butthead went bye-bye, but not before the film “Beavis and Butthead Do America” was made which is a classic of modern filmmaking.

Ever since the show ended 13 years ago rumors have gone around thousands of times that it was coming back.  Mike Judge even messed with people on several occasions but nothing came about except DVDs, and holiday specials.  Although now, Mike Judge may be working on about 30 new episodes, much to my childish delight and sick humor cravings.

Im not only excited about new episodes of the show with skits, but how awesome would it be to see music videos again?  Those things don’t even hardly exist any more.. Beavis and Butthead could single handedly bring that shit back.. and rip into the weird garbage of lady GaGa, or just laugh for 3 straight minutes to a Justin Bieber song.  I would like to see that, and other people should too.  It might actually force music to be awesome rock again… not poppy crap, or pussy emo music.. but legit Rock.  Mitchy likes this idea.

In the past when old rumors came up or interviewers questioned him about it, it was almost always “Im just too busy, or I have to much going on.”  Well King of the Hill is gone, the Goode Family bombed and Mike Judge has no movies in the works.  ITS TIME MIKE JUDGE.  Beavis and Butthead are needed to rip into the dipshit youths of today.

I went into the theater with the expectations of seeing a movie that looked pretty and not much else; in the field of looks this movie did not disappoint one single bit! However, what about the cream filling? Well in the Too Long Didn’t Read version The A-Team did not disappoint me. This review, as all my other reviews, will not contain plot spoilers but will go into the fine details of this film.

From the introduction and partial back story of the characters to the subtle discovery of the main plot The A-Team does an interesting job of pulling the audience into the story and keeping your intelligence entertained as well as your inner demolitionist. The A-Team does a spectacular job of balancing story with action and unlike some other action movies of the same genre, it did not leave you wanting more shit to blow OR making you feel like too much stuff just happened.

What really worked for me was the interlacing of a specific description of events and then said events, it was very fun to watch and I wasn’t burdened with remembering too much information; Unlike Sherlock Holmes, the cool editing and narrating of key sequences wasn’t lost after 20 minutes. This movie does throw a lot of story your way but doesn’t work it in a manner that makes you have to remember everything and any new developments are worked out pretty quickly.

The characters were engaging, comedic, and well timed with just the right amount of weapons training and balls to the walls crazy attitudes! Having watched the old show I can comfortably say that everyone followed their predecessors to a Mr. T… See what I did there? All the sweeter was that these fine gentlemen gave the already established character something new and unique to the fellow actor. Unlike the television show everyone had equal screen time and brought their own unique talent to the table with several extra dynamics that made the film something new. I was thoroughly impressed with District 9’s Sharlto Copley, and bear in mind he has very little acting experience in this genre. And yes, Rampage has his UFC moment, fortunately brief though.

The style of action is fairly unique in that it keeps you guessing what is going to happen next and if what just happened is possible; Mythbusters could have an orgy of episodes themed on some of the stuff that happened in this movie. This rose of a review is, however, not without its thorns. I felt that the action was slightly wasted on me because of jerky camera movements and too up close to the action; I could never get into Bourne for that specific reason. Also when Rampage got serious he was somewhat difficult to understand because he just mumbles…A LOT. Surprise surprise Jessica Biel did not do a bad job with her roll, probably due to the fact that her job was small in this film, and she was not here for sex appeal.

In the end I felt my money was well spent and this is the action movie of the summer. If you go in expecting nothing more than a blockbuster then you will be fairly surprised. If you go in expecting a good story on top of the kick ass action then you’ll get what you paid for. Go see it and WAIT AFTER THE CREDITS FOR A TREAT

- J

After several painful seasons of the Sarah Silverman show, its finally over.  The painful rants and raves of a woman comedian desperate to be a dude, is finally over.

I have disliked ol Silverman for years, but in her defense I have wanted to see her naked.  That’s about it.

Shes been doing over the top cleverless shock humor forever and annoying the FUCK out of me and many others for a long time.  When I heard she got a show on comedy central I literally threw an xbox 360 controller against the wall shattering it to pieces.  How does this dumb ass chick get a show!?!?  She makes jokes about shitting on Martin Luther King and slams down a racist joke with ease.  Ooo, I cant think of something funny so Ill say something offensive… Certain other people do that too.  Kindergartners.

Now please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t find much of anything offensive… just annoying.  I laughed my ass off when South Park showed Buddha doing lines of coke, and certain over the top humor is funny when used in a clever way.  Her humor has never been clever or funny…  Shes gotten work banging her way around Hollywood, and after Kimmel dropped her, oopsy there goes the show.

Lisa Lampenelli is so distasteful and offensive I actually cringe at times, but shes still CLEVER.  Theres actual work to her material.  I can respect that. Silverman has horrible comic timing and a strained awkwardness whenever she attempts to make any joke.  Shes like fingernails on a chalkboard manifested into a human being. The “I’m a cute little insulting chick” is not only stale, it’s annoying.  If she wasn’t cute or was just an average dude, she wouldn’t have garnered any attention.

So maybe some of you are asking why do you hate Sarah Silverman so much?  Well reader, its not simply because shes unfunny and tries too hard its because she tells a joke and when no one laughs she and a group of people/morons blame you for not understanding this joke.  “I seem to be attractive but oopsy, look what obscenities just came out of my mouth!” GOD DAMN YOU… Please go away..  The apologists out there defending her material are morons.  Does real humor need to be explained and then defended?!

Some comedians happen to be of a certain racial or religious background and use it as a reason to make racial or religious jokes.  She uses the excuse of being jewish to tap into that.  Then when the joke bombs and isn’t funny… she proceeds to say something like I pooped out of my butt, or my pussy is itchy.  Save the witless poop, pee, and vagina jokes for maybe scary movie 8.  If your over the age of 12 and find this worthless sack of human funny, YOU are the problem.

Thanks to whatever magical cancellation fairy out there that has finally cut out her fucking show.  GOD ALMIGHTY THANK YOU.

Well last night was the night…  Last night, or this morning depending on how much of an asshole you are, was the release of the one and only movie I was looking forward to seeing this year. Last night was the release of Iron Man 2! I gotta be honest, though, and say that I was nervous and skeptical about seeing it and with good cause. Movie sequels made by people who are under the thumb of Hollywood usually tend to make movies that just focus on bringing in cash and not actually make a movie with substance; Spiderman 3 anyone? However, some sequels are pretty good and build upon what the first movie established; Dark Knight? So now you know how I felt going into this movie. However, coming out of this movie I was not confused or deep in thought as to how I felt about Iron Man 2. When I walked out after the movie I flipped off the screen and left with my head held low. Iron Man 2 left me thoroughly disappointed.

This next paragraph will sum up my feelings without spoilers but the rest will be business as usual.

Thinking back to it now what really stuck out as annoying was that everyone bickered nonstop like they were all Tony Stark and how everything was over the top with commercializing. Commercializing is not the best term for it but at the moment I can’t think of anything better. The editing of some scenes was like I was actually watching tv and that bothers me. To top it all off everyone had their one liners. Even Fury was heard to say “I got my eye on you.” Give me a fucking break! My palms struck my face many times.

“If this were a TV show I would have changed the channel long ago.”

The acting from almost all parts was really annoying but was most bothersome from Sam Rockwell himself. I don’t find Sam to be a bad actor but even good actors can be plagued by poor writing. Sam’s character Justin Hammer is a failing inventor but is backed by politicians because he sucks their cocks and promises awesome shit. It isn’t until after one of our villains Whiplash attacks Tony with his own technology that Hammer sees his chance to be better than “Anthony” and build himself some Iron Man armor. This takes us to the worst possible dialogue when Hammer realized that Whiplash built drones instead of human armor; Hammer, confused, tries to get someone to put on a drone’s head to make the point that no man could wear this armor…that scene took 10mins. I’d rather watch a retard get placed into a round room and try to piss in a corner…

The bad acting/writing wasn’t limited to just Sam Rockwell, though. Scarlett Johansson donned the red hair and took on the part of The Black Widow… poorly. Her talking scenes were boring and left me feeling sad because she didn’t sport the Russian accent. Why? Well I guess because the villain is Russian and them Russians are evil in this here movie so we can’t have a good person be Russian too. Or… Ms. Johansson is a bad actress and can’t hold an accent. Nevertheless she was boring. When she put on the tight fitting clothes and kicked ass I was entertained but that was it. Don Cheadle did nothing to inspire his character and when he shared the scene with Scarlett we could actually see flies acting circles around them. And I’ll just conclude this with Sam Jackson was Sam Jackson, he didn’t strike me as a leader.

The action in the movie was a redeeming quality but action sequences were few and far between, to make them worse they were slowed down with pointless shit! In the beginning of the films climactic ending we see Jon Faverou help Black Widow by getting into a long and boring fist fight with one guard while Widow goes Hit Girl on about 10 people, which was awesome. Iron Man, though, was worried about innocent people getting hurt so he had all the bad drone robots chase him around the crowd for awhile. When War Machine finally enters the battle and absolutely kicks ass!!! But not to be outdone Iron Man busts out some new toys and ends the action.

The one liners really bother me because it just feels like everyone is trying to be as quick witted and insultingly sarcastic as Robert Downey/Tony. Agent What’s His Face drops the doozy “If you try to escape I will taze you and watch Super Nanny while you drool into the carpet.” /facepalm. I would also like to add in the annoying category (annoying cuz I wish it wasn’t so compressed) was the use of montages! Several really interesting scenes are chopped to pieces and played in a minute instead of 10… Finally all the tech in Tony’s house was way too overboard; Why? Because it was awesome in the first movie so it had to be expanded upon wayyy more than was necessary.

I left out a lot of the movie, plots, and sequences because, despite it all, this was a summer blockbuster and I do think that most people will like it for its surface value which is action. It’s not a movie that I wouldn’t recommend to everyone like Indy 4 but I wouldn’t tell everyone to see it like I have with Kick Ass. This movie will make plenty of money and for its cost I think most will enjoy it. I was fortunate enough to see it for free but sometimes, for me, free is too expensive.

Don’t worry, no spoilers…

Kick ass is fucking awesome.  There, Ill start it with that.  Yet when I first saw the trailer a few months back I thought it was going to blow.  I know some people share my thoughts on that, because the trailer doesn’t do the movie justice at all.  For those who know me, throw a rated R on something and im automatically interested, then toss in controversy and im sold. I also learned that every large Hollywood studio refused investing in Kick-Ass.  So that means to get funded the director Matt Vaughn went outside the studios and financed it with people like Brad Pitt.  This is great news for LOTS of reasons but the main thing is that Vaughn had the freedom to go to town!  Its violent, anti-PC, vulgar, crude, and no bullshit thrown in to cater to toy companies or sponsors.  Yet with that comes controversy especially with a character who cusses like a drunk sailor and kills people brutally and without remorse, oh and shes an 11 year old girl. Chloe Grace Moretz isn’t new to acting but she just came on my radar, and easily stole the movie. So much so that she is now currently one of my favorite movie characters of ALL TIME.  I shit you not, she was that awesome, much Kudos to the kid.  Right now the movie is getting mixed reviews, and in all honesty I can see why. Its violent, has graphic language, goes over the top at times and is crude.  I personally loved everything about it.

The main character is a nerdy high school kid who gets tired of taking shit from bad guys and feels he needs to do something about it.  Yes, I know this sounds familiar but the way it is approached and unfolds is ingenius.  I wont ruin everything, but what do you think would happen if a scrawny kid came up to some bad ass guys stealing a car and threatened them? It goes above what you could think and I love the movie for not pulling any punches and going to town on the action and violence.  Yet there is still some great humor to the movie, even the most disturbing and eye popping moments get broken up by hilarious one liners and comedy.

The great thing is that this movie takes place in OUR universe, not in the DC or Marvel universe.  So there are references to Batman, and Spiderman as inspirations and ideas.  This movie takes the comic book genre and fucks its face off.  The regular ol cliché’s that have been beaten to death this past decade are used and satired but also given a brutal dose of reality.  The hero isn’t just a nerd… hes a nobody, a nieve and dumb kid thrown into a cold world.

The writing is great with smooth and quick witted dialogue that will crack you up.  The director does a great job with subtle details and information to keep you in the story, and Kick-Ass actually has four credited composers. So the music is great and works seamlessly in bringing you into the story, as well as every single set design that looks like its been brought right out of a comic book.  The acting is also top notch from everyone except McLovin who really just seemed like a gimmicky nerd attachment.  Yet everyone else does an awesome job and Chloe Grace Moretz as HitGirl deserves a fucking Oscar. Even Nicolas Cage who hasn’t had a decent outing in years does a good job and even mimics the Adam West voice as Batman.

So even with all these strengths and me licking its taint with love there are still a few cliché’s that just couldn’t get avoided.  The final act gets pretty predictable and slowly loses its realism, but the movie is entertaining as hell. The director did an awesome job putting this together and I plan to see any movie Matt Vaughn makes from here on out.

For anyone looking to see a ridiculously bad ass movie who loves controversy and going as far from PC as possible, then go check out Kick-Ass.