Production is about to begin on The Dark Knight Rises and the rumors are aplenty! Tabloids, (il)legitimate websites, and magazines around the planet all claim to know who has been cast and where the story is going; the worst rumors stating that Eddie Murphy would be Riddler and Shia LaGay would be Robin. I thought I would take this opportunity to interpret the facts and speculate with the rumors as to who will play what and what we might see. I would like to warn that there is a slight chance I could be right and spoilers may be ahead! What makes me better than everyone else on this topic you ask? Well, in the months following The Dark Knight I predicted we would see Catwoman based on what it would bring to the table. So I’m kind of good at this.

When we last saw our heroes, and villains, things were a bit messy! Bruce Wayne is dealing with the death of his lifelong love Rachel (played by a sad turtle), Harvey Dent killed some people and died, Batman took the blame for the killings and killed Harvey Two-Face himself, and (despite knowing the truth) Gordon must pursue The Batman. Yikes! Let’s quickly set two things in stone: Two-Face is dead and Joker isn’t coming back. (Going back and editing this over the past several days I have to include that Aaron Eckhart [who plays Two-Face] has teased that he may return, scratch that one then)

With Bruce emotionally scarred after Rachel’s death it only makes sense to bring in another female lead to challenge his feelings and who has a better dynamic than Batman/Catwoman-Bruce/Selina? Batman stops crimes, so far committed by dudes, and Catwoman is a hot chick, so that’s new! Catwoman also has a good side to her so that appeals to Batman’s humanity and he is always torn with his thoughts on her. See Batman Returns for more info on this dynamic. Anne Hathaway is confirmed to play Catwoman.

Now here is where it gets tricky because there are several rumors stating that Inception star (the chick with the accent) Marion Cotillard is up for a roll in DKR which would play to Director Chris Nolan’s trademark use of the same actors in his movies; but, who could she play? Well I think it’s obvious (Since the character AND actor have similar accents) that she would be Talia Al Goul, daughter of Batman Begins nemesis Ras Al Goul, which would connect the beginning and end of the trilogy. On top of the connection, Talia Al Goul is another love interest of Bruce Wayne! Are we gonna see a cat fight for Bruce’s affections? I kind of hope not.

What about the primary villain? Well that’s where this party gets interesting due to everyone wanting a big name villain to complete this whole epic story and rumors have been calling for the Riddler! On top of that another rumor says that Inception star (seeing a connection here?) Joseph Levitt is going to be in this movie and right off the Bat (see what I did there?) everyone says he’s the Riddler! Don’t get me wrong, I would like to see that BUT I think this could go into a different direction. Queue in Inception star (again) Tom Hardy who has been confirmed to play the not-so-huge-villain but HUGE villain BANE! I predict that we will see Bane as never before, and by that I mean real physical proportions. Tom himself has stated that his putting on 30 pounds of muscle for the roll. Why Bane? Well he has one feat that no other villain has: He broke the Batman in half, literally broke his back! Anyone seeing a link yet? Last Batman movie with Nolan…Bane as the villain… Yeah, this could happen. Which brings me to Joseph Levitt.

If the Batman is indeed removed from action by the end of the movie then we will need someone to fill the mantle of the Bat, if only for studio sequel’s sake. Now, Nolan has stated that Robin will not show up and I like that! But, what about Nightwing? Or, even more interesting, Terry McGinnis; aka Batman Beyond. Batman/Bruce might be left in pieces but he still will try to protect his beloved city and that’s where Terry/Batman Beyond could come into play… I think leaving this door open with Levitt would be the twist Nolan could sneak on us. Or Joseph could be a 20minute filler villain like the Riddler… Yes I’m getting a bit crazy with this one since, to again play on the connection to the first movie that Nolan said would happen, Levitt would most likely be Falcone’s son.

If you ask me, were seeing too many actors in this movie and they can’t play small parts so we could see another Xmen3/Spiderman3 and that scares the hell out of me! Time will tell what happens but just remember: If my predictions come to pass then you saw it here first on THIS HOT FIRE!!!

The storyline basically revolves around Robert Downey Jr’s character who is about to be a father for the first time and the due date is a few days away, but for what im sure will be ridiculous circumstances he is placed on a no fly list, with no business car and no way back home to his wife.  THUS ENTERS the awkward, out of touch and slightly retarded Galifianakis character who is willing to drive him home.

Great set up for an R rated comedy… Im excited to see it, others are excited to see it, and with Robert Downey Jr’s comedic timing and Galifianakis genius Im expecting an unbelievably funny movie..  Check it out for yourself.

Halo Reach: Sep 14, 2010

This game will be epic…

The storyline takes place before the events of the trilogy on a planet called… Reach. (hence the title, crazy huh?)  You get to be part of a whole squad of Spartan soldiers on this planet trying to stop the covenant from breaking through and destroying Earth.  It’s a ‘last stand’ type story line so expect it to be darker and loaded with grit, but even better… expect massive environments bigger than anything before because they loaded this bitch with a whole new game engine to showcase massive warzones.

Do yourself a favor and check out this bad ass trailer…

Also expect new features to online play from the game that pretty much made online play…

Fallout New Vegas: Oct 19, 2010

Fallout is easily one of the best RPG’s ever made, and to hear they were coming out with more is bad ass.

The game will take place right in the heart of vegas, and on the strip.  Only in a dilapidated post-apocalyptic Vegas… Wielding all kinds weapons from a machete to a railroad spike gun.  Im usually a video game tard, and enjoy meaningless killing and explosions and ass kicking, but with this RPG im still entertained in a simpleminded way. Look for it in October.

Force unleashed 2: Oct 26, 2010

Im excited as hell about this game, mostly because Im a star wars nerd and actually get aroused when I hear about new storylines to the star wars universe.

Im so excited that I already wrote a whole article about it… Check it out here.

Call of Duty Black Ops: Nov 09, 2010

Ok sure, so maybe theyre milking every last drop of the Call of Duty cash cow, but tell me your not buying this game… seriously. Shitloads of gunfire, big explosions, nasty head shots and bloody insanity.  Add in all the other A+ aspects of Call Of Duty and you cant really go wrong… High quality sound, awesome graphics, and the chance to talk some shit on friends.  Whats not to love!?  Oh yea, theres also a new crossbow gun that has a bomb attached to the arrow… Good times.

In this game apparently we’ll be more exposed to the ‘conspiracy’ and black operations aspects of war, which I hope to see in the gameplay but multiplayer looks to be the same as always.

The first game had one of the best storylines since the original trilogy, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.  So to hear that they are somehow resurrecting the main character who died in the first one, doesn’t even bother me.  Bring it on.  I want some badass force lightning shit that will make a wookie explode or something.  The last game was awesome, even with a smidge of clunky gameplay. They can only make that gameplay better, so I expect big things.

Something else that bothered me in the original was that it was supposed to be a huge epic scale game, but you couldn’t explore crap.  I wanted to slam my lightsaber through a spaceship wall and make someones head explode all while running around an ice planet, but I just didn’t get that awesomeness.  I did get to dominate a Rancor, and crush an AT-AT with my mind which does blow my face right off.  Yet, I want more and im ready for more epic shit.

The trailer for the game is pretty awesome looking, which I have included for you, right here.

The trailer, and website don’t explain what the hell resurrected him and what for but Im sure with LucasArts creativity I will accept it and like it.  They haven’t shown any gameplay yet but Im sure in the coming months we’ll get a taste.  If I had my choice, Id be able to literally cut ANYTHING with my lightsaber.  Im tired of swinging that bastard against a wall and it does nothing.  THAT’S HORSESHIT!  Lightsabers cut ANYTHING.  Let me cut shit George Lucas!

Outside of this new game, there is still some other Star wars stuff on the horizon like the cartoon clone wars series, Lego Star Wars 3, and the new MMORPG The Old Republic.  With all these titles comin up hopefully LucasArts doesn’t give the Force Unleashed 2 a backseat to development, or im cutting someone.

So here comes “The Other Guys” a movie made by Adam Mckay, Ferrells writing buddy, and that means hit or miss.  After watching the trailer I was amused but, for Christ sakes… a odd couple cop buddy movie?  AGAIN?  Im really burned out on the idea, and if Ferrell goes into his same character role again im going to throw shit at the movie screen.

The movie will have Samuel L Jackson, The Rock, and Mark Wahlberg as his partner. Hopefully this is a nice relief from the same 4 guys hes been doing movies with the passed decade.

I want to be optimistic with this movie but I just cant help thinking Ferrell is going to let me down again.

Check the trailer out yourself and let me know what you think.

After watching the trailer, you should be interested…

To make you more interested you should know this movie is the first production from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez Productions.  And seeing Jeremy Piven in something relative to his PCU days makes me smile. Its also directed by Neal Brennan… I understand if this name means nothing to you, so I shall elaborate and tell you he is the creator of “Chappelle’s Show.”  Yes, I shit you not…

This movie will definitely have the randomness and “funny word” humor that Will Ferrel likes to use, but I think with Jeremy Piven at the helm its gonna fuckin own your face.  Youll recognize a couple faces from previous Ferrel movies like David Koechner, the bald guy… among others, and I expect big things from this movie and you should too

This movie will more than likely make me shit my pants with laughter.  You should be looking forward to this.

Coming August 14th, 2009

For any male aged 13 to 40, odds are you have played God of War.  And with some of the highest video game sales ever, and assloads of awards, Im backed up when saying this series is one of the best in history.

So with shitloads of money being a strong possibility, and a “to be continued..” style ending to the second one with Kratos charging an army of Titans up Mount Olympus to fight the gods, you knew the third was coming.  Right now its scheduled for release in fall of 2009, which in video game language means Christmas time 2010.  Nonetheless, I cant wait for this damn game.

In the third game the hardcore rip your face off and use it for toilet paper bad ass, Kratos, is getting set up for battle with the greek gods.  How much more fucking epic can you get??  Insiders are saying that its going to stay true to the roots of the game with vicious combat graphics, gigantic worlds in full HD, (FULL HD GOD DAMMIT, THAT IS FUCK YOUR EYEBALLS AMAZING) elaborate puzzles to keep your brain firing and an unreal story that will round out the trilogy.  The entire game engine has been rebuilt from scratch because of the depth of the graphics, they actually said just the file size of the PS3 version of Kratos wouldn’t even fit on the PS2.  Sweet Christ…  The god of war 3 engine will be stronger than anything any video game has ever had, with enough power to have your character fighting 40 different bad guys at once, altering weapons, destroying the environment and doing all this while moving on a moving breathing Titan, which will actually be the environment you navigate through. By the Titans “being” the environment I mean literally that.  The creators are saying the Titans would be larger in size than that of the Sears Tower in Chicago, and the majority of levels will be Kratos moving on and around them. The war between Gods and Titans is the backdrop of God of War III and will constantly surround Kratos throughout the game. The director of God of war 3, Stig Asmussen has said he is setting his team out to create a game that would help define action for this generation of consoles and for the entire industry.

With this unreal graphics engine comes even more crazy ass gore.  Some parts of the game that have been demo’d have included disemboweling a Cyclops. (1. To cut or slash open the abdomen of, as by bayoneting, so as to expose or remove the viscera and bowels) I’m sure many people are aware of what disemboweling is, but to actually have it in a game… it needed a dictionary definition to really extenuate that.  Asmussen explained that showing the innards pouring out was something they were calling Zippertech, which would make for more realistic kills.  Some of the old favorites are back like ripping the arms and wings out of the sockets of flying bad guys, only with HD graphics.  BOO YAHKA!!

Only a select few critics and other reviewers have been shown a demo of the game but from what they are saying so far this could be the biggest, coolest, awesomest, craziest, game… Ever.

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Ok, so after hearing about this movie on paper I was defenitly down to go see it.  The director of Old School, Zach Galifianakis and rated R… thats all I really needed to hear to want to go see this movie.  On paper, the premise involves 4 pals, one of whom is getting married, and three friends driving to vegas for a nice little stag party.

So good so far.  Then they hit me with the recycled crap… They wake up after the debauchery and drunken tomfoolery (yes, I said tomfoolery) but nobody remembers anything and the guy whos getting married is missing.  So in the spirit of “Dude, Wheres my Car” they have to retrace their steps to find their buddy.  So let me repeat I actually just said “In the spirit of Dude, Wheres My Car” thats a devastating blow.

In the end, even if the premise is similar to the overdone plotline of drinking too much and then having to figure out the night before.  I will still see the movie, because Zach Galifianakis is one of the funniest sons of bitches alive.  Then to toss in the director of Road Trip, and Old School I just cant see it being anything but fucking hilarious.  I prefer an original story line, even if its only slightly tweaked, but who cares? A movie like this is meant to make you laugh not win an academy award for screenplay.   Movies due out June 5th.

So check out the trailer at the top and tell me what you think.

Back in 2008 I first heard of this game because they said it was like a combination of God of War and Grand Theft Auto.  When you hear a phrase like that, any human being that knows shit about video games would become fully aroused.

What Ive learned is that in Prototype it will have the freeplaying “sandbox style” of Grand theft auto where you can run around and do whatever you want.  Kill people at random, run up buildings, accomplish side missions etc.  But unlike grand theft auto your going to have super abilities. (I did in fact just jizz in my pants)  When you play, the main character in Prototype is able to consume the bodies of those he has beaten and killed. Yes, consume them. When you eat em’ up it gives you access to their memories, their experiences, their biomass and their physical forms.  So basically if he consumes somebody he can assume their identity. This can be used to evade pursuit and deceive enemies. More than just running away or hiding he can use his ‘patsy’ power and say that an innocent bystander killed everybody or consume a soldier and freely enter a military base. Or if he consumes a higher ranking officer, he can commandeer military vehicles, call down airstrikes and order other soldiers.  This game is gonna fuck start your face…

Consuming people isnt meant to be just a cool ability in Prototype, it helps the game move along. When you consume memories it will help unlock more of the story and progress the game. On top of that, he also consumes useful skills, like the ability to pilot military vehicles and use different kinds of weapons.  Consuming dead enemies and bystanders also provides health and energy to perform bad ass moves, so you’ll have to eat somebody eventually. 

Not only can you morph into people you consumed, but you can also shapeshift your body into nonhuman, and more specialized forms for attack, defense or sensory enhancement.  You can morph yourself some clawed hands and bladed arms, or hammer-like appendages and you can even send claws underground to cause spikes to burst up and impale enemies and vehicles. When your energy meter is full you can do super moves  such as causing a large amount of spikes to shoot out of the ground or cause sharp tendrils to shoot from your body in all directions.  Youve also got defensive morphing to resist damage or ward off attackers. Defenses include sharp spines protruding from your back, a forearm shield, and more. You can even change skin into armor plating that lets you bash your way through traffic instead of jumping over it and also gives you more protection from attacks, but slows speed. You can also do combos. For example, you could give yourself an armored body while having claw arms and using night vision, and like in most games you can upgrade and earn new abilities as you play.

Along with that cool ability, your also given superhuman strength, speed, agility, durability and healing.  So your going to be able to do some pretty cool shit. Stuff like throwing cars, running at high speeds faster than most vehicles, jumping long distances, and gliding which helps avoid damage when you fall or jump from high places. You can also adjust senses to perceive things like infra-red, and night-vision,  and gain the ability to track individual enemies in a crowd.

All in all, I think for 2009 I am most anxious to play Prototype.  It sounds like a bad ass game Ill spend hours on.



The script got around the internet the middle of last year so just to give you an idea, its going to be ol fashion Tarantino mash up of Taratinos favorite styles and such.  With the plotline of a bunch of jewish-American guys going buck nasty wild on holocaust era nazis.  To they get out there revenge by doing such cool things as scalping them, crushing skulls with baseball bats, etc.  All the fun stuff you do at family reunions and such.

Brad Pitt plays the veteran Lt. Aldo Raine who puts the group of people together for the sole purpose of scaring the bejesus out of nazis by killing them as brutally as possible.  How bad ass is that?  If you want a bigger taste check out the trailer here.