So I wake up this morning to some news that frightens me, but also makes me laugh my ass off. In Winona, Minnesota a womans car broke down and she was forced to take it into a shop. She explains she was on her way home and that there is a live goat in the trunk she plans to butcher.

On Sunday August 23rd one of the best things ever happened…

Women protested the right NOT to wear shirts in public.

Ive got 2 nuts, and you only need one to spread the Mitchy seed. They’ve also got prosthetic nad’s they can ram in your sack. I sell one ball and get $60,000. So tempting.

For the first time in Tiger Woods’ career he lost a tournament after holding the lead through 54 holes. All 14 times tiger has won a major he had the lead or share of the lead going into the Sunday round.

Well, Well, Well, kids, look who’s back. Welcome all to another action packed preview of the next UFC show, UFC: 101. This card features some big names, and some up and comers, so strap yourself in and prepare to get worked over by some of the best.

After ridiculously long negotiations with the UFC, Fedors agent has signed him with Strikeforce. UFC couldn’t agree to pretty much signing half the company over to the Russian fighting beast Fedor so they couldn’t get him, but Dana White would have been a fucking retard for doing that for one fighter.

Im not going to bore the fuck out of you with specifics I will just say an issue came up so they “suspended” my account until I could verify my identity. I was already pissed at this point because Ive been playing for years with full tilt, received withdraws and given them business.

So in my travels through the internet, working in electronics stores, and socializing with nerds I have become well accustomed to those who play World of Warcraft. Ive seen every stage of player… from the newer ones, asking questions and still physically socializing, to the pale outcasted internet-acronym quoting weirdos.

From raw pasta sticks to frozen pizza, Ive chewed on just about everything because I was so drunk I didnt know what to do or I still had my wits about me enough to eat something in order to dim down the hangover coming the next morning.

Sure all the douchebags out there have Michael Jacksons death, or Farah Fawcetts death to cry about.. I have Billy Mays. A beloved pitchman who could yell with the best of them.