The Tiger Woods Sexy Time Scandal
On November 23rd 2009, an article was published by the National Enquirer detailing an affair El tigre’ was having with nightclub promoter Rachel Uchitel. This was the catalyst for the media assrape of Tiger Woods.
LET IT BE KNOWN. Me, Mitch Higgins, on thishotfire.com called out Tigers integrity 3 MONTHS before any news agency or tabloid garbage mentioned anything about this scandal. But I, the amazing, and near clairvoyant Mitch Higgins wrote this article regarding Tigers integrity.
Of course much more has come out about The Tiger Sexy Time Scandal, including the fact slutty slut-tastic 
club owner Rachel Uchitel provided Tiger with other ladies. He also did his own Ho recruiting in vegas nightclubs, manhattan etc. All the tabloids and worthless celebrity/entertainment tv shows began reporting that the ladies encompassed women from a cocktail waitress and nightclub owner to a porn star and model. One girl, Kalike Moquin, was speculated to have been doing the hibbity dibbity with Tiger, buuuuut she was just pimping out girls to him too.
Several other money hungry whores also came forward and one reportedly even sold her story about the affair for $150,000. By the way, it was reported that the cocktail waitress that sold her story for $150,000 also banged George Clooney. Classy woman. Veronica Daniels or better known as Joselyn James in the porn industry also plans to have a rebuttal press conference now that Tiger has had his press conference to answer all the media questions.
Basically, a man who was regarded as an icon and a complete goody two shoes golfer has been torn down to a pile of tattered flesh. Look, im not saying cheating on your wife is a good thing, and he should have been prepared for the repercussions of banging all those chicks.. but I AM saying this whole “fiasco” is so miniscule and worthless. The media took a mans life and exposed it 50 times over and sucked every last drop of ratings they could out of it. You could say im exploiting that same thing, which I am… but Ill say it like it is. Im not a nationally recognized news agency, or press pass holding member of the media.. Im just an unbelievably intelligent and ruggedly handsome writer from California that knows so much its almost supernatural. Not to mention I have the modesty of a pope, but not the pope right now that’s involved in child sex scandals. One of the other popes.
The major things I get from this whole situation is how bloodthirsty and brutal the media is. The bottom feeding tabloid National Enquirer snags a hit on Tiger with the first story and once blood is in the ocean every shark and its mom attacked without remorse until they’ve eaten him whole, shit him out, and eaten the new shit Tiger and shit that out. Quite literally. Ive also learned, again, how stupid people are. Every dipshit that believes everything they hear and see on tv sees Tiger as the devil, and hes not. He’s a man who had the world, and enough money to buy and sell my ass. He got offered beautiful women when he partied and celebrated and it turned into a sex-crazed sexfest. Which I, for one, would have partaken in. Gorgeous women, that could or could not have been dirty whores, were offered up like appetizers. Being a rich, athletic, successful professional athlete this was the guy’s life. In gladiator times, a winning gladiator was thrown women by the dozen because men have an insatiable need to tap that ass. To the angry, conservative, and/or feministic women, I understand he committed adultery. Roger that Dykey McDykerson.
The real bad guys here are the media and the whorey slutbags that sold their stories of an affair to the highest bidder. Women who knowingly banged a married man, and then at the drop of a hat came forward with their story for all the money they could get. They took money to graphically explain their sex and affairs with Tiger. Sorry sweet heart, that makes you a whore. Explaining or even showcasing their sexual escapades and openly accepting fame and money contributes to the Paris Hilton syndrome. Kim Kardashian did it, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson and Monica Lewinsky to some extent did it. They banged someone let that video/discussion/interview hit the main stream and hey, now your famous… for being a slutt. Bravo. Daddys gotta be proud.
All in all Tiger cant be fined or imprisoned for adultery, but its hasn’t been a walk in the park. Imagine that you’re a nobody who has been married for 4 or 5 years and your honey baby finds out you’ve been banging the babysitter, and a gaggle of other women. What would happen? She possibly kills you, attempts violence, get divorced, be shunned by friends and family etc. Tiger got his face clawed, a busted lip, and then chased with his own 9 iron, and had his sweet Cadillac windows busted out. Finally culminating in slamming into a tree. All pretty standard with the circumstances. Unlike average Joe Nobody he also got his personal life splattered on every piece of news you could fathom to be viewed by millions of people. He suffered the embarrassment and heartache of going from a beloved celebrity to a hated “playa”. Hes been criticized by every media personality out there, and he lost most of his endorsements, probably his wife, and his kids probably wont look at pops the same way again. LEAVE TIGER ALONE. That is my message.
He cheated, he got caught by his wife.. AND THE ENTIRE MEDIA ARMY, and hes paid for it. I support Tiger and I hope he wins the Masters this weekend, by the largest amount in the history of the event.
VIVA EL TIGRE’!!
These women (That’s what stupid people prefer to call them) might get their 5 minutes of fame. They are “in it” to.. what? Win it? The guy is MARRIED! 5 minutes is just 5 minutes that made you look more like a slut! And “El Tigre” will continue on with this lifetime of success.
Well, i agree with you… mostly. When a man cheats on his wife, that should be between that man and his wife, and maybe their family. But it shouldnt be everyones business, and it certainly shouldn’t effect that mans career! He shouldnt be crucified!!! That being said… i cant really find it within myself to defend the guy either. I mean he is a married celebrity in America, who cheated on his wife numerous times! WHat exactly did he expect to happen? Did he think it would never come out? or that no one would care, or talk about it? He did what he did, because he wanted to i suppose. And now the media and the rest of america are going to do what they do… judge, talk, and profit from the situation. It is what it is.
I cant even comment on these so called “women” he was with. I mean REALLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I do however, hope that he does great this weekend, and starts to get the focus off of his personal life, and back on GOLF.
Finally back and an interesting way to return eh? Well I’m glad you admitted to being a douchebag for going on about this story. I personally don’t give a rats ass about his personal life and I’m annoyed that other people do. If you’re gonna talk about Tiger and Bill and David then you gotta talk about Russel from down the street who cheated on his wife! Who the fuck is Russel you ask? I dont know! You dont know! and Russel if you’re reading this Im sorry for spilling the beans. The point is stop idolizing sports icons, theyre real people just like you and me and they are not incorruptible! I wish Tiger and Kobe luck with their sports career and thats all I got to say about that! If I may make one hypocritical comment about the whole thing I give Tigers wife props for keeping her mouth shut, she hasnt added any fuel to the burning fire that is this horseshit by talking to the media. And if you write a book bitch I will not buy it! Good day to you!
Wow its back! And what a fine piece to start it off with.
“Im just an unbelievably intelligent and ruggedly handsome writer from California that knows so much its almost supernatural. Not to mention I have the modesty of a pope, but not the pope right now that’s involved in child sex scandals. One of the other popes.”
that was fuckin hilarious bro. hopefully this tiger woods crap dies down soon but sex sells and the news needs ratings. funny shit
i thought tiger was gettin played out but this just peaked my interest all over again. had a good laugh man
WOOOOOO finally you came back.
I LOVE IT
great article too, i love whores. but hate them at the same time so tigers situation hits me right in the heart LMAO. KEEP IT UP I want some UFC picks next.
Screw Tiger! He was a married man. Emphasis on MARRIED. Any man should be true to his wife and not out having sex with strange women night after night. He should be at home sleeping in his own bed and waiting for whether his wife wants to have sex with him or not. End of story
The master is back. Top notch insightful reporting by the kid. Ok, I will weigh in with my two testicles….ah..er..cents. Man must eat to live, man must spread his seed to keep man from going extinct. This is all about Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs. Google it… If you dont breath you die, if you dont eat you die…if you spread fertilize half of the porn stars in california..you go to rehab. El Tigre, go get ‘em brother, whoop ass this weekend.
But Pops, a love glove blocks the whole seed thing…seedless jam is what Tiger was making with the ladies. I put it best when I say “God gave man two brains and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
TIGER IS THE MAN!! YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE! LIVE IT UP!
I watched the masters and was definitely interested in how Tiger would play and act and it seemed pretty normal. He made big shots, got angry when he screwed up, same shit different day. Then I saw his post-match interview and fuck, Tiger is an asshole. Straight up ASSHOLE. No respect, no change of attitude, what a dick.