The Bieber Fever

The first time I heard about Justin Bieber I was told ‘some new faggy little kid is making twilight fans cream their pants.’  I thought that meant he was in a new twilight movie, but my friend was actually just talking about the retarded fan base of twilight and Justin Bieber being the same.  Quickly he went from annoying little kid to chillin with rappers and becoming a female jailbait temptation.  I never thought Id see the day that some poppy little white kid would be kickin it with hip hop artists… what the fuck happened to NWA rappers that rapped about shooting white people and slappin hoes!?  Some say its culture maturing in a melting pot, I say fuck you.. pussies.

Ive had many poppy douche bag pretty boys take the hearts and vaginas of women in my lifetime, with their synchronized dancing and girl like voices… Ricky Martin, Lance Bass.. oh wait, they ended up being gay.  Hmmmm…

Although Ive experienced boy bands, and multiple homo-erotic male pop stars Ive never seen something to quite the extent of the Bieber.  Hes going to start shooting a 3D biopic starring himself to be released next Valentines day, and hes working on a memoir (hes 16 by the way).  So some little toolbag kid with fruity looking hair explodes off youtube and now hes doing all this!?  What the hell!?  And 14 – 15 year old girls cant get enough, they might even kill another human being just to meet this kid.

Did you know Bieber has a “swagger coach”?  Whats a swagger coach you ask?  Ryan Good is Biebers “SC” and before any event Bieber throws together an outfit, and emails a photograph of himself to this guy to get approval.  I shit you not.  A 16 year old boy is sending photographs to an older man for fashion approval.  Take that as you will… Hes also heavily into Twitter… Some say he tweets twice as much as any celebrity on the site.  Do you follow him?  Don’t lie.. you want to keep tabs on the Bieber, DON’T YOU!?  Apparently he engages in actual conversations with fans, and not just random posts placating them, so sign up ladies!  And creepy dudes…

It was just 13 months ago that Bieber was just some douchey little kid getting filmed by his mommy for youtube, and now hes selling out arenas and is recognized as a full on pop culture sensation.  How the hell!?  Once you have the passion of young teenage girls behind you, anything is possible these days.

The only good thing about ridiculously effeminate male pop stars is the hilarious pranks and jokes about them.  The online campaigns by 4chan have been fucking hilarious…  One involved getting the Google Trends Hot Searches list to have the top search be “Justin Bieber Syphilis”.. HILARIOUS.   Or doing mass pushes of news rumors that he joined a cult, and/or his mom got paid to do a Playboy spread.  My favorite has to be when his tour website asked fans to vote for his ‘bonus’ tour location, and a campaign started through 4chan to vote for the heavily communist and anti-American, North Korea.  Which WON.  HAHA!  That’s solid gold.  Although the tour organizers wont send him there, and deny it was a prank.

All in all, Bieber is here to stay for awhile and even elaborate pranks to send him to his death in North Korea or try to convince internet users he has Syphilis or hes joined a cult wont stop this effeminate freight train.  Ha… I just copyrighted that phrase for Bieber.