My new favorite restaurant is a little place called Olde Saltys in North Carolina…

Know why?

Because manager Brenda Armes has taken it upon herself to develop a new policy which is solidified with a sign in their window stating “Screaming children will not be tolerated.”  This is the best restaurant policy Ive ever heard of, and I want it in place at every restaurant except Chuck E Cheese and other ‘kid friendly’ locales.  Actually, fuck it.. this policy should be every where.

But my magical dream of dispatching screaming, bratty children is now being attacked by unbelievably pussy whiney douchebags under the curtain of calling it “discrimination.” A certain mother by the name of Kelly Chambliss, has a stick up her ass about the sign and the restaraunts policy.  Apparently her son is autistic, and autistic children are prone to screaming uncontrollably and basically going bonkers at any time.  Shes putting up her banner of disapproval citing the ‘Americans with Disabilities Act’.  Ok, first off lady she didn’t put up a sign that said “No autistic’s allowed”.. Second, you roll the dice any time you pop out a kid, and you crapped out.  Sorry your kid is handicapped, but you wanted to a be a parent now you get to deal with what you got.  Not the other 50 people trying to enjoy a drink and a nicely prepared meal without your kid going apeshit.  Your kid is not getting singled out, every stupid little kid that wont shut the hell up is being treated the same.

If I was in North Carolina, looking for a place to grab some grub and I saw a sign that said “Screaming children will not be tolerated”, then I dont care if they were serving steaming piles of dog shit, Id be going to THAT RESTAURANT.  The quiet tranquility of a restaurant is part of the reason I pay extra money for the meal… When I see some little spawn of Satan jumping around a booth yelling randomly at everything that moves, while a couple of parents just stare down at their plate of Salisbury steak not doing a damn thing.. THAT PISSES ME OFF.  You cant lie to me and say youve never been having dinner when a family comes and sits down in the booth next to you with some little hellspawn child that wont shut up, and you roll your eyes or use your hand as a fake gun to signal to your friend that youd rather blow your brains out.

If a privately-owned restaurant wants to ban psychotic screaming children that cant be controlled by hippy parents, then sign me up for that ban!  Let the stupid parents who cant control their kid, or cant handle their kid with a ‘disability’ go to a damn child dedicated restaurant or get a poor unsuspecting babysitter to watch the little terd.

So opposed to me throwing the kid out the window like a shotput, and getting so angry, how about a policy of no stupid loud, and obnoxious children!?  Take your little ball of insanity to a Mcdonalds playland asshole, and quit ruining my time out. Kelly Chambliss is trying to avoid having her child discriminated against, which I cant knock her for.  What I can knock her for is the fact discrimination is defined by dictionary.com as ‘treatment of a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit’.  So, when you see the sign “Screaming children will not be tolerated.” The sign doesn’t say ‘this certain class of children will not be tolerated.’ It says ‘ANY’ screaming child.  Which applies to an autistic or retarded or psychotic or hungry or ANY child. All children will be treated the same according to the sign.  So your discrimination complaint is garbage…