3D is Taking Over
So if you’ve been alive the passed year, then Im sure you’ve noticed the huge push for 3D. Movies, TV, my butthole.. it seems like everything is starting to be made 3D. Who didn’t expect it though? Avatar was designed and shot in 3D without a “conversion” (more on conversion later) to it and ill admit, it was fucking amazing. Yet its quality, or awesomeness doesn’t mean anything. The only reason everything is going 3D is because Avatar made the most money of any movie EVER made. The story was recycled mush, that’s been made into a story a hundred times. Pocahontas? Dances with Wolves? The Last Samarai? If James Cameron made a movie about a piece of dogshit at a huge profit, every money hungry Hollywood-ian would be making spinoffs/sequels/conversions/tv shows about dog shit. Or on the reverse, if the movie bombed and was the most in depth 3D work ever, then 3D probably would have died with Avatar.
So heres one of my problems… How about instead of making everything 3D, you just write a good story?? No form of projection changes a good story, a good story is a good story. It can be told at a drunken party, or put on IMAX 3D with surround sound. Whatever the format, a story can be great on an ipod touch or a 500 foot screen. What I’m getting at is that 3D is just another way to pump out more shitty movies than ever. Just like massive amounts of CGI did to movies in the mid to late 90s and on. Spiderman 3 anybody?
Please baby jesus make Hollywood listen and make 3D the standard form of entertainment.
Another problem I have is 3D conversion. Seeing as how 3D is so “super amazing” and will make old movies/tv etc better they need to do 3D conversion. Jerk me off a little more Hollywood. Everything will start being converted to 3D for more money, recycling old movies or even movies a year old to move them to 3D. OR even convert the damn thing to 3D before it ever comes out i.e. Clash of the Titans. Clash of the Titans was a cool movie, don’t get me wrong but 3D conversion was fucking worthless. They got to double the price of movie tickets and account for more than 60% of all the income of the movie by holding off the release 2 months and converting. The 3D was barely noticeable, the only thing I noticed was the extra 10 dollars missing from my wallet.
To all of Hollywood.. If your going to make a 3D movie, THEN SHOOT IT AND MAKE IT BASED ON A 3D EXPERIENCE! You Hollywood assholes.
Problem 3 is other movie genres going 3D like chick flicks, and comedys. God dammit. When this happens I’m going drop kick some kind of cute animal, just because it made me that angry. Morons and people with no concept of being screwed will still pay to see these over priced 3D movies and I hate them for it. 3D will not make a chick flick better!! Sex and the City 3D!?? I think I’ll off myself right now.
In defense of comedies, a 3D comedy could be made if it specifically used the 3D as a punchline, and that will work, once, maybe twice. If the jerkoffs that do “Scary movie, Epic Movie etc make “3D movie” I don’t know a better reason for going on a shooting spree. Yet 3D should not be the “norm” for our entertainment for lots of reasons. Nausea for one… And if a movie is already shot and completed converting it will work for 2 or maybe 3 movies and then the fad will die down because people realize its worthless. Go see clash of the titans 3D and youll see what I mean. No 3D is better than shitty worthless 3D, just look at the box office numbers for Clash in weekend one and two.
So Ive laid out my huge concerns with the 3D craze, but I also have some positives too. In a smaller amount, 3D movies could be pretty cool. Avatar was awesome, and movies that are planned to be 3D from pre-production are fine with me if they’re action filled blockbusters. Then theres another genre of films that could be downright magical in 3D… If you’re a man, you’ve already thought of it.
Porno.
Imagine 10 girl orgies in 3D. Sweet mother of god. Some men might not leave home and women would take over the earth. Yet, porno in 3D I see as being HUGE. It would also help the market since theres free porno everywhere on the internet, but not in 3D! Listen up porno makers, test out the 3D my friends… I will be test audience.
So in essence I have a love/hate relationship with 3D. Its going to be exploited beyond repair the next few years, and that will lead to a lot of bullshit. Wizard of Oz 3D I can see happening, or Star Wars 3D. Yet the difference is George Lucas has a good track record with new technologies and innovations, so if anyone can fix the shitty conversion of today it will be him. Yet for the time being conversion is worthless, and I wont pay for it again nor will I pay for a 3D comedy or romantic chick flick.
Hopefully before Avatar 2 comes out there will be something else of decent value.
I said it once and I’ll say it again: Avatar is to movies as Peter Frampton is to music (Peter Frampton Comes Alive anyone?). Everything doesn’t have to be in 3D dammit!!! I never even thought about the stuff that shouldnt be in 3D…Thanks for that fear Mitch. The only movie Ive heard for 3D that I think would work is the reboot of Spiderman.
What’s worse is this whole 3D Home Theater bogus! First you gotta buy the tv (3000$) then the player (500$) then the glasses (130$ EACH) and finally whatever movies are in 3D (3 or 4)! You can’t just watch anything in 3D (tv included) it has to be converted first! The glasses are uncomfortable and break easy and you just cant invite everyone over to watch, they need glasses too! My favorite part of this whole BS is that the movie that started it all wont even be released in fucking 3D when it comes out on BluRay/DVD later this month! HAHAHAHAHAH FUCK YOU TOOLS!
Shit. I wasnt really mad about anything and then I read this and now im really mad. Id like to just beat up someone, or whack off to 3D porn. Good idea.
Man-milk flying at the camera in 3D! There are just some things you can’t un-experience. But then again, 3D golden showers!
mitchhas a dinky winky!?! you son of a bitch!!
I dont think would enjoy a potential schlong flying off the screen digitally fish hooking me while spanking it to bouncy 3D DD’s
and Avitar was not that exciting. Anybody remember dances with wolves? Same Effing movie!!!! just exchange a few indians with blue people and flying birds with horses and BAM. Lastly…have you ever seen the latest prono movie section when visitng Suzies for a drunk ‘find the biggest penis like object and chase somebody around the store in’ night? That shits like $50 a pop. I feel jewed investing 3-4hrs of my time to d/l a free porno off utorrent. I feel sorry for the geek who pays for that. Let alone $100 for a 3D version. Rich nuts should be able to afford to get live puss…which im assuming is better then 3D (I cant be biast just yet…havnt seen 3D titties)
I think any genre of movie could be good! Even romantic comedies Mr. manly man! lol. It just takes creativity, and some director or producer could have the vision to put together something great just like James Cameron did with Avatar. Hollywood does follow the money, I agree with you there but every one in a hundred can end up pretty amazing.
Well said, and cameron said himself that he believes for the real upconversion it would take 6-12 months. Where clash did it in 2 months. See the difference they were just money hungry. In all reality, it really is a way for them to get more money out of the product. I believe the star wars wont be rushed and the 3d will be as good as it can be for upconverting. Also 3d porno??? Will have to wait till the price of 3d TV’s drop in price.
Oh yea, I know most people dont like resident evil, but the new one is in 3d and it actually looks pretty good!
I think you have a good point about right now and how bad Clash of the Titans was, but Niemas right. When its done over a long period they can probably get pretty good at it.
Without this exploitation though, how will they perfect the technique? I disagree with you completely because you are way behind. 3D pretty bad at the moment. It can become so much better. Innovation excites me. You conservative motherfuckers scare me. Why are you all angry again? because there are bad movies? Protip: there will always be bad movies. You know at one point people watched moving pictures without a story. Just some scenario with it. Then they started making movies and incorporating story telling with images. They made some bad ones. The point I am trying to make is that I think movies SHOULD be in 3D. ALL OF THEM.
Thomas if you say all should be in 3d, im sure your thinking right now of a 3d cumshot all over your face!!
Hahahaha.. IN YA FACE THOMAS! *splooge*
i currently work at a best buy and we have a 3d television demo…. honestly right now its not that great and truly not worth the money to get one. the televisions are specifically made to convert movies to 3d but thats just makes the movies look even more low budget. soon direct tv and dish network will have new channels that will only be in “HD 3D” so just be prepared because 3d will not be going anywhere soon. So if you are really wanting that 3d television dont be a jackass… just take a moment and wait! Let the manufacturers work out the bugs and let the depreciation value hit.
Well said Laura To early and expensive to adopt now!
Well here is a friendly Hollywood update: When assholes like Barry Sonnenfeld are saying that they shall direct Men in Black 3D, pioneers like Chris Nolan, Wally Pfister, and Brad Bird (all associated with Batman 3) wont make Batman 3D! However, they will make Batman 3 all shot with IMAX cameras! Thats ofcourse if they can make it slightly easier. I would also like to add that in the same interview DP Wally Pfister feels that the 3D fad will pass possibly as early as this summer.
Laura, what Best Buy do you work at?
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