So I thought I’d try something a little bit different with this article. This is going to depend on what YOU, the reader answer. Make sure you drop some feed back, and tell us reasons why, then I will tell you why you are wrong. If you guys like this, and it gets some good feedback i could probably turn it into a weekly thing, just let us know. enjoy.
Who would you rather have save the world?
Will Smith or Wesley Snipes.
Will Smith,
Positives – has saved the world from aliens, super powered women, more Aliens, and even Kevin James. He’s certainly got the chops to fly space craft not from this planet.
Negatives – Unclear on his ability with biological warfare, and we haven’t seen him combat REAL threats, just super human.
Wesley Snipes,
Positives – Has battled vampires on 3 separate occasions, gone to the future as a bad guy to kill Stallone, and knows how to hide his money, kind of.
Negatives – He’s actually in jail right now, so for him to save the world we would have to have Obama give him a full pardon, and I’m not ok with lighter sentences for criminals.
Who would you rather have driving your get-away-car?
Jason Statham or Paul Walker
Jason Statham,
Positives – Was the coolest fucking driver EVER, in the Transporter series, not to mention he basically drives like a bad ass in every movie he has been in.
Negatives – He’s British… I think? So he’s not used to driving on the right side of the road, could become confusing when you and him are trying to get away, and he can’t figure out if he should turn left or right. Not to mention he was in Pink Panther.
Paul Walker,
Positives – Besides being dreamy?? He has been in 3 of the 4 Fast and Furious movies so he knows how to handle a stick… (Hah). He’s also gone into the past to fight medieval knights.
Negatives – Has only driven rice rocket cars, he doesn’t know anything about the good old American Steel. Not to mention, most of the cars he’s driven have been modified beyond belief, do you think he can drive just a simple Ford Windstar?
Who would you rather have as your company’s CEO?
Michael Douglas or Alec Baldwin?
Michael Douglas,
Positives – Was basically the baddest Wall Street trader ever, which has to carry some clout in the world of business. He’s also been the President of the United States, if you can run the free world, you should be able to manager a CEO position…
Negatives – Married to Catherine Zeta Jones-Douglas, now I don’t know Ms. Jones-Douglas, but she seems like she requires A LOT of attention, thus she may take up more time than is ok with me.
Positives – Lets be honest Baldwin has been some of the best CEO’s out there. From running a fake TV show on 30 Rock, to being Secretary of State. Baldwin has the skills for sure.
Negatives – Baldwin actually did run a company in “Fun with Dick and Jane”… he ran it right into the ground, so maybe that’s a sign that he’s not as business savvy as he leads on. Not to mention he was in that horrible movie “Pluto Nash” and for that he should be thrown out altogether.
Who would you rather have as your Pimp?
Samuel L Jackson or Snoop Dog?
Sam Jackson,
Positives – It’s mother fucking Sam Jackson Mother fucker. He keeps his pimp hand strong every god damn mother fucking day. He likes to curse a lot as well, which always scares us white guys.
Negatives – Sometimes has a good guy streak in him, one second he’s yelling at you and giving you a motivational talk, the next second he’s unloading a full clip on you and being eatin by a mother fuckin shark.
Snoop Dog,
Positives – Snoop has been in the game since he was a little guy in diapers. Snoop has been hustling people since he could talk, he was also Huggy Bear, and that’s pretty bad ass.
Negatives – Maybe I’m wrong but Snoop seems like he’s not always motivated. Maybe it’s all the weed he smokes, or his droopy red eyes? Either way, I just don’t know if I’d be able to count on him to back me up in case my “John” gets out of hand.
Who would you rather have serve you coffee?
Ryan Seacrest or Sean Hannity?
Ryan Seacrest,
Positives – Seacrest has got the stamina to pull an all nighter as seen on Dick Clarks “rocking New Years Eve” show which is great, because in the coffee business you work some fucked up hours.
Negatives – Sadly Seacrest has been in the spotlight his whole life which means he probably hasn’t learned any REAL life skills. It doesn’t take much to make an espresso, but you do need to get your hands dirty, and that my friends I don’t think seacrest can do.
Sean Hannity,
Positives – Unlike Seacrest, Hannity hasn’t always been a conservative hack, I would imagine that growing up he must have had some sort of normal guy job… hopefully.
Negative – His head is huge, I don’t physically think it would be possible to have him enter any building that isn’t specially modified with doors able to accommodate his giant ego.
Alright everyone, I hope I gave you some stuff to debate and think about, have at it, and let me know who you choose and why!!
May 14th, 2009 at 4:58 PM
Will Smith… cause he raps clean, hes a fine example for young rappers.
Jason Stathom.. cause most brit’s talk with a faggy accent. his is grizzled and amazing.
michael douglas.. Its michael fucking douglas..
sam jackson.. hes older, therefore more gentle and wise if I was to be one of his “tricks”
Sean hannity.. just to make this sack of shit my coffee boy.
May 14th, 2009 at 6:38 PM
Will Smith-I jut think that if you can fight off aliens and zombies, you can fight off ANYTHING!
Jason Stathom- Paul Walker’s just way too dreamy to drive the getaway car
Michael Douglas- BECAUSE he’s married to Catherine-Zeta Jones, and he looks like he should be a CEO of some sort
Snoop- I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do my pimpin’; he’s been doing it since day 1
Seacrest- Hannity talks too much, and I’ve got stuff to do after I drink my coffee
May 14th, 2009 at 6:39 PM
P.S.
I like this post. It’s fun. Let’s do it more often
May 14th, 2009 at 6:46 PM
Hahaha. Indeed another fantastically irrelevant article by Kevin.
I definitely want Hannity serving me coffee. He may spit in it, but I dont care. Id have Hannity as my servant-boy coffee server and thats worth more than clean coffee.
May 14th, 2009 at 8:20 PM
eeeeeh. I dunno man, one of your weaker efforts here. Good premise but I think your diggin a little hard.
May 14th, 2009 at 8:23 PM
Are you holding a light saber in the main picture?? If so, you are awesome.
May 14th, 2009 at 9:42 PM
LOL. Sam Jackson is my pimp, hands down. Hes just too cool not to be my pimp, and yes Paul Walker is dreamy, and so hot its gross. You saying hes dreamy is also gross.
May 15th, 2009 at 2:24 AM
I cannot sleep and somehow found this website and Ive got to say this is one of the most random things Ive ever read in my life.
Is there any justification for these particular people? Or completely random choices? I expected a “Who would you rather have sex with..” But found these weird questions posed instead. You are one whacky guy.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:06 AM
well Jeanie, there is no method to my madness.
just pure raw talent.
and sexy appeal.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:07 AM
oh yeah, and yes matt, i am holding a lightsaber.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:13 AM
Hahaha, I agree with the Jeanie girl. Random as hell, but still pretty funny. “Paul Walker is dreamy” hahahaha.
2 questions for next time.
Who would you rather ride like a stallion?
Who would you rather have as a grandpa?
Feel free to make your own answers.
Your welcome.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:19 AM
Will Smith – ’cause I like him more
Paul Walker – ’cause I used to look like him
Michael Douglas – ’cause he is Kirk Douglas’s son
Snoop Dog – ’cause he be have mo sperience
Sean hannity – ’cause you didn’t have Rush Limbaugh as a choice
Another fine piece of ejournaltainment.
JB Pops
May 15th, 2009 at 8:30 AM
excellent contributions johnny.
i will most def use those 2 when i do this next time. if they people want it, i shall deliver.
Pops, as always, a great post.
May 17th, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Wesley Snipes – “you may run like Mays… but you hit like shit.”
Jason Statham- I didn’t like The Transporter series, but I didn’t like the Fast and Furious series either… Snatch takes the tie breaker.
Alec Baldwin- he plays a hilarious corporate stiff on one of my favorite shows, 30 Rock
Snoop Dogg- I can’t get over Sameuel L wasiting my time with Changing Lanes
Ryan Seacrest- because I wonder what kind of adverse affect extended exposure to coffee would have on his alien kind
May 18th, 2009 at 9:35 AM
lol u guys are on crack….mostly Dorian….but none the less u guys are funny
u should do one of, who would u rather buy drugs from? lol
May 18th, 2009 at 10:26 AM
Ya…dude…badass read that could use countless follow ups:
–Im gonna go with Will Smith to save the world. But it all depends on the threat. He does have the experience. But in the end Snipes could fuck his shit up. Dude, he’s on Total Gym commercials with the all powerful Chuck Norris. That says a lot. If were talking saving the world from the human race, then Im going with Snipes to walk the Earth crackin skulls. If its otherworldy threats then I gotta do with the experience of Willy.
–I gotta go with Statham on this one. He drives like a fuckin maniac in total control of himself. If Fedor was a racecar/getaway driver….he would drive like Statham. Plus, yes Walker is dreamy as fuck, but Statham is no slouch himself….with that grisly stubble and his rockhard body. FUCK I love sounding gay for Statham.
–I think Douglas and Baldwin could be in the runnning for the PIMP one too cause from what I hear they both fuck mad bitches…….but then isn’t that what being a CEO is all about….and who said being a president means you can run a company? Think BUSH…..fuckit…I liked Douglas in An American President…and he was an obvious beast in Falling Down….maybe that should scare me.
–Im gonna go with Jackson has the head PIMP but Snoop is definitely the man running the streets for him.
–I don’t drink coffee so fuck em both. Seacrest is the original Mangina and I have no idea who Hannity is
Keep the who would you rathers coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!