As some of you may know, my hometown is Stockton CA…
And in early February Forbes declared my hometown the most miserable city in the entire country. Since I dont live there any more and have several friends who do, my first reaction was to laugh my ass off.
Then I actually read the article and felt bad, but still laughed my ass off and made sure to post the article and all its information on every social profile I have to desecrate my friends still stuck in Stockton.
The article mentioned how they ranked the cities, and explained…
“Stockton ranks in the bottom seven in four of the nine categories we looked at: commute times, income tax rates, unemployment and violent crime. Only New York City has a higher income tax rate than what Stockton, and all California residents, are forced to pay.”
Wow. I was aware, even as a child, Stockton had a reputation for things 
such as highest murder rate per square mile and highest car theft during the holidays.. but sweet jesus, most miserable city in the U.S. God damn. That includes places like “every city” in Utah, where mormons thrive and alcoholic beverages are watered down, and illegal on sunday. Thats brutal… But then again from the time I was 12 to 17 I had a gun pulled on me and was threated by death 4 times. So, I understand the difficulties in living there.
Something I was not aware of is that Stockton was number 2 the year prior! Stockton isnt new to misery and shittyness apparently, even to people who dont live there. Yet, something still stirs in my belly to hear shit talking about my hometown.. Theres a level of comradery in misery and any Stockton native still has a soft spot for the place. Whether it be a “209″ reference on a myspace page, or a “stocktown” verbal reference… Something about that shithole makes you miss the few people you were able to find who didnt want to rape and or murder you. Its like making best pals with the bad ass in prison who will protect you from anal rape… its comforting… and you could remember a person like that the rest of your life.
I was the first person within a large group of friends to leave Stockton, and one of few who hasn’t been forced to move back and I take pride in the fact im 2 minutes from the beach and 6 hours away from the rectal cavity of California. But I’ll always have a friend in a Stocktonian, they are the only ones who share the same level. Yet let me make this clear… Im not looking to make a new Stockton friend, I dont need crackheads and crackwhores emailing me for friendship.. I made my friends there and Im done. Loyalties and ties remain but no new ones need to be formed. YOU HEAR ME!!?
209 Fo’ Life son..
April 1st, 2009 at 2:34 PM
Dear baby jesus please save stockton from the mess it is in..
seriously i laughed hard.. when i read this.. so hard i shit myself.
but it speaks the truth, the love is still in the 209.. and it’s good to know that if i ever need someone to be stabbed.. i have lots of friends back home.
April 1st, 2009 at 5:54 PM
i wish i could stand up and say “fuck forbes”……but i can’t.
it’s true this place really blows harder than a 5 cent hooker not only i’m i a native to this place i tried leaving it and in the process found one place that infact sucks worse9 eureka,ca)from there i moved to whittier,ca which is i the los angeles area but due to lack of income was forced to move back so even if you leave stockton keeps it foot firmly planted in your ass. this place could have a thriving music scene god knows it tried. the thing that stops it is no venues they open then close open then close but thats because they book shitty bands. the 209 is like a wild grizzly bear best viewd from a far and if you get to close play dead till it leaves.
April 5th, 2009 at 11:29 AM
I remember being so excited to move to San Francisco only to find the apartment complex I live in lies on Stockton Street. There will always be a part of shittyness in my life no matter how hard I try to get away from it.
April 5th, 2009 at 12:12 PM
The reason why stockton is miserable. I dunno because most the people are ignorant as hell. Yes I can spell ignorance, unlike our president from the past Mr. Bush. I just dont know, I guess when you live in a town where only 15% of adults have college degrees, you can expect for people to turn to the only thing they know…That gun.
April 5th, 2009 at 1:44 PM
Word! I’m glad I still don’t live there, I will never live there again, but Stockton holds a place in my heart.
April 5th, 2009 at 2:02 PM
DAMN MITCH YOU HIT IT ON THE SPOT. I FELT LIKE I JUST ATE A 20 PIECE CHICKEN BUCKET FROM KFC. EVERYTIME I TELL SOMEONE IM FROM STOCKTON WE GET INTO A CONVERSATION ON HOW GHETTO IT IS. BUT THIS GHETTO IS A PLACE I LIKE TO CALL MY HOMETOWN.I MOVED TO MODESTO 2 YEARS AGO, AND I’LL BE DAMNED STOCKTON IN CALLING MY NAME AND IAM MOVING BACK THIS YEAR. 209 TILL I DIE!
April 5th, 2009 at 2:25 PM
hey man. at least were number one in something. suck our respective balls chicago! they’re big and miserable
April 5th, 2009 at 3:29 PM
Dude that gangster black guy is awesome, hahaha. Stockton may be miserable, but its been home.
April 5th, 2009 at 6:10 PM
i was born in the most miserable city…
damn.
April 6th, 2009 at 9:16 AM
it’s honestly not so bad. every homecoming i have is a lot of fun, and i’ve recently been surprised to actually find some bars i feel comfortable enough to get piss ass drunk in! (without worrying about getting robbed/beaten/raped/etc). it’s the place i grew up, and even though nearly everyone i once knew is gone, i’ll still call it home… i just won’t live there
April 6th, 2009 at 10:08 AM
Well written!! I pretty much agree… I know how shitty it is, but God dammit I was born and raised here, and I turned out just fine!
April 6th, 2009 at 10:10 AM
OK I was trying to rate it, and didn’t know how, so I accidentally gave it 1 star, but I wanted to give it 5 stars?!
April 6th, 2009 at 12:39 PM
Dude.
Thank you for writing this, and finding that picture of the black dude. I dont think ive ever laughed so hard while READING.
“”Its like making best pals with the bad ass in prison who will protect you from anal rape… its comforting…”"
That is gold man.
April 6th, 2009 at 8:18 PM
Stock-uhhh till I dizzie. And I’m glad to be one of those friends you speak of that protect you from the crackheads and crackwhores…..
matching dub nina tatts? Lets doooo it!
April 8th, 2009 at 6:26 PM
Wow, that’s quite a title. “Most miserable city in the country.” I haven’t lived there for the past four years, but I still think of it as home. Even though we all talk a lot of crap about it, its different to read about someone else telling the world its a miserable place. I’m all like, “Hey, shut up. I think your home town sucks, buddy!” Then I pull out my gat and bust a cap. ‘Cause, ya know, I’m from Stockton.
April 9th, 2009 at 7:16 PM
This is awful. To think I lived there? We need to do something to change this…Ill get the stamps, you get the pens..we can write letters haha. So happy Im not there anymore.
April 10th, 2009 at 9:21 AM
So true about our hometown. as much as i hate living here in stockton and would pretty much do ANYTHING to get out of this shithole of a town, this is OUR shithole of a town…your exactly right about what you said.
April 10th, 2009 at 3:46 PM
WOOOOOW. LOL
April 13th, 2009 at 2:42 PM
God damn, that black dude picture is hilarious. I cant believe a city this shitty prodcued somebody who created this site. I love this shit. Hard to find something to do at a boring ass job, so thank you.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:32 AM
i had to work in stockton for 4 months straight. worst city i’ve ever had the displeasure of working in. UGH
June 6th, 2010 at 5:23 PM
You know this place sucks when even the white and asian students are dumb and poor as hell
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:56 AM
Such a good post, if I never see the future, then how can I do? Then how can I do?