Selling a testicle for money
I was first exposed to the idea of selling one of my nuts for money on a long car ride with my buddy Kevin Rogers. Like on most long car rides conversation got weirder and weirder and eventually came to the question “would you eat a cup of poo for a million dollars?” But I digress… In the middle some where it was mentioned that Kevins brother explained he could sell a testicle for $60,000. Immediately upon hearing this I was disgusted, and repulsed but slowly thought more about the idea.
Ive got 2 nuts, and you only need one to spread the Mitchy seed. They’ve also got prosthetic nad’s they can ram in your sack. I sell one ball and get $60,000. So tempting. I always thought about it but never researched it because I never thought I could actually go through with cutting off one of my boys.
Its been 7 years since that fateful conversation and after more than 7 years of the real world ass raping me and making me its bitch, the idea of selling one of my gonads has become very attractive. So during recent months, with the recession in full effect, Ive looked up lots of quick money solutions like sperm donation, blood plasma donation, prostitution, donating hair, and cutting out my friends kidney while he slept to sell on the black market. Then I had the epiphany of the testicle sale, which would avoid a felony for assault with a deadly weapon.
So for days Ive google’d the living shit out of everything to do with testicle donation and found nothing. Kidneys, partial livers, organ donor membership were all available but nothing of donating a ball. Theres a lot of information out there about testicle cancer though… hope I never get that shit. Yet I still cant find anything on selling my berry. So im asking anyone out there, if you know anything about selling a testicle… to help a guy out. Where can you sell your testicle?
August 19th, 2009 at 1:39 AM
thats, unfortunately, a long running black-market joke I think. I could be wrong but I, much like you, found nothing in days of researching that topic. STUPID JOKES! But really you gotta think of the practical uses of what to do with a random nut, which is nothing really.
August 19th, 2009 at 9:37 AM
Try E-Bay?
August 19th, 2009 at 9:42 AM
Silly pipe dreams. Cant sell your nad, sorry mitchy.
August 19th, 2009 at 10:36 AM
I would so do it!!!
August 19th, 2009 at 12:05 PM
If guys can sell a ball, can chicks sell a boob? lol, they have prosthetic boobs too!
August 19th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
http://www.snopes.com/college/medical/testicle.asp
sorry buddy..
August 19th, 2009 at 3:20 PM
Snopes is the killer of all that makes the world interesting….damn you Snopes for killing my dreams of making it out of the recession alive
August 19th, 2009 at 5:02 PM
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
There goes my backup plan.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:40 AM
Unfortunately I found out you couldnt sell a testicle long ago, but this article brought back that same desperate yet happy feeling I could get money for pretty much doing nothing. Ben Jartlett found a pretty good article, and its almost soul crushing to think I was pathetic enough to sell a testicle only to find out its not even real. FML.
August 22nd, 2009 at 3:00 PM
I clipped this tid bit off of a web article. I don’t think he wants to sell one of his testicles. OUCH MOMMY!!!
Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre, there really isn’t anyone to blame for the injury other than himself. Despite playing the hot corner and dealing with balls getting smashed his way at like 100mph and only 100 feet away, Beltre doesn’t wear a cup because they’re uncomfortable. While Beltre may have gotten by until this point, he finally got burned in Wednesday night’s 14-inning game against the White Sox. He might miss the rest of the season after taking a hard one-hopper to his groin off the bat of a White Sox player Thursday night.
August 23rd, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Ive thought about selling body parts myself, but Ben is right its illegal. But so is smoking weed, and we see how strong that is followed. Somebody will pay for my kidney. And im finding out god dammit!!
August 24th, 2009 at 2:19 AM
My luck I’d win the lotto the next day.
April 24th, 2010 at 2:27 PM
You honestly had me interested in selling one of my balls. Then I read the comments and had that dream crushed. Man, I would have done it so fast.
June 3rd, 2010 at 8:18 PM
i looked into doing this as well…
i found an organization that paid me to perform a s.i.p.
)
(“they didnt pay me for a testicle… that they kept… but paid me for the ‘test procedure’ that was performed successfully
granted i only received $25,000
but its 25 g’s that i didnt have before…
and i have a silicone testicle… that feels real!!!
without the fleshy attachment in the front…
recovery was about 3 weeks… (it fukin sucked!!!)
its like getting punched in the balls… and having the pain for 3 weeks… sigh…
if u dont know how that feels… grab a ball… and flick the crap out of it!!! dont graze it and call it good… hit it dead center…
after you regain consciousness… yea thats how it feels…
procedure took about 3 hours…
but unfortunately im not allowed to give out info on where…
BUT I DO KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THERE ARE MORE PLACES LOOKIN…
so good luck!!!
June 8th, 2010 at 9:04 AM
what is s.i.p.?
June 8th, 2010 at 2:14 PM
they keep it vague and call it a silicone implant procedure…
June 8th, 2010 at 2:20 PM
I wanna know where!!! Ill do it RIGHT NOW!!
June 8th, 2010 at 2:22 PM
other places might call it a testicular implant procedure or something…
it was a while back so…
June 8th, 2010 at 2:27 PM
i learned alot doing my homework and not just rushing for the money…
their could be alot of problems down the road…
like i said…
do your homework…
dont just look at a few pics and a single page article and call it good…
yenno?
anywayz…
good luck im done with this site…
June 8th, 2010 at 2:54 PM
Thanks for the info Steve. Im going to have to take a look around to find out some more information. Interesting to know. And sorry about the brutal pain buddy, haha. I feel for ya. Massive sympathy pains.
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