Selling a testicle for money
I was first exposed to the idea of selling one of my nuts for money on a long car ride with my buddy Kevin Rogers. Like on most long car rides conversation got weirder and weirder and eventually came to the question “would you eat a cup of poo for a million dollars?” But I digress… In the middle some where it was mentioned that Kevins brother explained he could sell a testicle for $60,000. Immediately upon hearing this I was disgusted, and repulsed but slowly thought more about the idea.
Ive got 2 nuts, and you only need one to spread the Mitchy seed. They’ve also got prosthetic nad’s they can ram in your sack. I sell one ball and get $60,000. So tempting. I always thought about it but never researched it because I never thought I could actually go through with cutting off one of my boys.
Its been 7 years since that fateful conversation and after more than 7 years of the real world ass raping me and making me its bitch, the idea of selling one of my gonads has become very attractive. So during recent months, with the recession in full effect, Ive looked up lots of quick money solutions like sperm donation, blood plasma donation, prostitution, donating hair, and cutting out my friends kidney while he slept to sell on the black market. Then I had the epiphany of the testicle sale, which would avoid a felony for assault with a deadly weapon.
So for days Ive google’d the living shit out of everything to do with testicle donation and found nothing. Kidneys, partial livers, organ donor membership were all available but nothing of donating a ball. Theres a lot of information out there about testicle cancer though… hope I never get that shit. Yet I still cant find anything on selling my berry. So im asking anyone out there, if you know anything about selling a testicle… to help a guy out. Where can you sell your testicle?
August 19th, 2009 at 1:39 AM
thats, unfortunately, a long running black-market joke I think. I could be wrong but I, much like you, found nothing in days of researching that topic. STUPID JOKES! But really you gotta think of the practical uses of what to do with a random nut, which is nothing really.
August 19th, 2009 at 9:37 AM
Try E-Bay?
August 19th, 2009 at 9:42 AM
Silly pipe dreams. Cant sell your nad, sorry mitchy.
August 19th, 2009 at 10:36 AM
I would so do it!!!
August 19th, 2009 at 12:05 PM
If guys can sell a ball, can chicks sell a boob? lol, they have prosthetic boobs too!
August 19th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
http://www.snopes.com/college/medical/testicle.asp
sorry buddy..
August 19th, 2009 at 3:20 PM
Snopes is the killer of all that makes the world interesting….damn you Snopes for killing my dreams of making it out of the recession alive
August 19th, 2009 at 5:02 PM
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
There goes my backup plan.
August 20th, 2009 at 9:40 AM
Unfortunately I found out you couldnt sell a testicle long ago, but this article brought back that same desperate yet happy feeling I could get money for pretty much doing nothing. Ben Jartlett found a pretty good article, and its almost soul crushing to think I was pathetic enough to sell a testicle only to find out its not even real. FML.
August 22nd, 2009 at 3:00 PM
I clipped this tid bit off of a web article. I don’t think he wants to sell one of his testicles. OUCH MOMMY!!!
Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre, there really isn’t anyone to blame for the injury other than himself. Despite playing the hot corner and dealing with balls getting smashed his way at like 100mph and only 100 feet away, Beltre doesn’t wear a cup because they’re uncomfortable. While Beltre may have gotten by until this point, he finally got burned in Wednesday night’s 14-inning game against the White Sox. He might miss the rest of the season after taking a hard one-hopper to his groin off the bat of a White Sox player Thursday night.
August 23rd, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Ive thought about selling body parts myself, but Ben is right its illegal. But so is smoking weed, and we see how strong that is followed. Somebody will pay for my kidney. And im finding out god dammit!!
August 24th, 2009 at 2:19 AM
My luck I’d win the lotto the next day.