So it looks like ol Mikey Vick will be trying to return to the NFL. Vicks sentence in jail ends July 20th and hes 
already got franchises shopping for him.
For those unfamiliar, which wont be many, in April 2007 Mikey got caught up in a dogfighting ring that had been going for about 5 years. So he got brought up on federal and state charges, for gambling and the animal cruelty and got the celebrity jail sentence of 23 months.
Sooo pretty much everyone hates this poor bastard for having dog fights at his pad, and hes treated like hes a radioactive Hitler. The guy had dogfights… DOG FIGHTS. Ill come clean and say… I love dogs, dogs are awesome but the guy is looked upon as the most evil human being to ever live. You people are fucking morons. The guy was born and raised in Virginia, which is just above North Carolina… the heart of the ol dirty confederate south. Fucked up shit happens there EVERY day, including dog fights and many other archaic activities enjoyed in the 1800′s. I don’t excuse what he did, and I also don’t excuse people for being so blindly swayed by how he was portrayed in the media… People are fucking retarded and guess what, MARK MY WORDS… heres the events that will take place following his release from prison, in any order that will make you magically change your minds about him…
1. He appears on “The View” and/or “Oprah” swaying the minds of women everywhere and therefore spreading through gossip and word of mouth like wildfire.
2. He does more TV time with PSA’s speaking out against animal cruelty, and licks PETA’s balls.
3. After seeking forgiveness from women, the backbone of mainstream appeal, he will finally hit ESPN and mildly apologize to fans and men and quickly get into talking about playing football again… cause men don’t need that much.
4. After the massive public image work, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will lift his suspension and allow him to sign with a new team.
Once these things happen, everyone will forget he brutally killed dogs in his interstate dog fighting ring and people will talk about him playing football like it never happened. ESPN will never make mention of it again and people will forget alllll about it, except some clever fans at away games who make dog fighting signs.
Mark my words, at the very LATEST he will be signed with a new team by this time next year.
There is ONE variable to my statements and that is if the guy has a fucking brain aneurism and screws up again. If he gets in a bar fight, bangs an underage girl, does some drugs etc. he will be screwed. But barring any screw ups, prepare to see Vick on the back of a QB jersey again.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:40 AM
nice article mitchy.
you left out one point.
he’s a low life, and therefore, he WILL screw up again. just as Pac-Man jones did, and as TO is still doing to this day.
Vick can’t stay out of trouble because he’s going to be thrown back into the spotlight, and get paid millions of dollars to throw around inflated pig skin. He hasn’t learned his lesson in the least, and unless he finds jesus christ(hah!) he will fuck up again.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:48 AM
I agree with Kevin, Vick is a lowlife and wont be able to avoid screwing up. He was making millions of dollars, and had loads of endorsements, and he felt the need to have dogfights in his own ring of them.
Too retarded. So this idiot will definitely screw up and end up on celebreality on VH1 in a year.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:51 AM
Nice article mitch, it points out the fact even some evil fuck that has dogs fight to the death for entertainment can still spin doctor the media to accept him back.
Hahaha.. women are the backbone of mainstream appeal? nice.
May 16th, 2009 at 12:08 PM
i really like that you photoshopped some black guys fingers flipping people off onto his hands..
you racist
May 16th, 2009 at 3:54 PM
Hi there Mitch, my names Art with ESPN.com. ESPN tries to keep up with the blogging world in google and other search engines and keyword alerts and we came across a few of your articles on the sports world. Very different approach to sports analysis, to say the least. Taking a look more at the human aspect and definitely not straying away from vulgarity or hurting anyones feelings.
We’ll be in touch through email and possibly by phone, email sent through your contact page on some opportunities. We wanted to express interest openly and place a comment here to ping your blog.
Have a good day
May 16th, 2009 at 4:45 PM
Is that comment real Mitch?
LOL, I would say more but I dont want to write a paragraph about how bad another person is, itll just make me mad.
May 16th, 2009 at 6:52 PM
The picture with Vick and the dog is perfect.
As for what your saying, Vick is radioactive Hitler. Hes a low down fucked up guy for doing what he did to those dogs and should pay for that torture. I really dont think hes going back into the NFL.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:22 PM
You are 100 percent correct here buddy.
He put people in the stands, so no matter what he will play in the NFL again. Theres too much money to be made with him as a player so the people with the power will get him back in again.
I hope he secretly has dogfights for a decade before these morons find out again.
May 16th, 2009 at 8:20 PM
Ill admit I liked Vick when he played. It was cool to see someone who could move out of the pocket, but a QB should be throwing the ball any way.
Now after everything thats happened, I wont let him change my mind. What he did to animals without remorse is just too fucked up to forget about. Im not a big anti-fan but i definitely see myself rooting for the prick to get sacked.
May 16th, 2009 at 10:03 PM
How could you not think this guy is a “radioactive Hitler”?
He bred dogs strictly to kill, and let them starve to drive them to nastier violence. He is a horrible person and should not be forgiven. Id like to see him starved to madness and then pitted against a psychotic man on death row. How about that for capital punishment?
May 16th, 2009 at 11:18 PM
Im having trouble figuring out if this is for Michael Vick, or against him, or against people, or against the media. Im so confused, but even without a direct target I agree that with enough money you can spin any story to help yourself out. I think Vick will end up on The View and maybe shed a tear.
It would be a good move.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:28 PM
So you know, PETA sent a letter to the National Football League asking that he be subjected to a psychological test as well as an MRI brain scan in order to look for evidence of clinical psychopathy or anti-social personality disorder.
Thought that was a good piece of information for your article.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:30 PM
Thank you Shelley. He should be tested!! he killed dogs by hanging, drowning, shooting and breaking their spines. What kind of sick twisted freak does that?
May 17th, 2009 at 1:56 AM
IMn seeming to find the site whenever i m sodrunk i catn see or taste. MIVCHAEL VICK!!!!!!#@ YEAAAAAA
May 17th, 2009 at 2:10 AM
You guys need to have like 5 posts a day. I almost get all my topical news from here now.
Think it through guys.
May 17th, 2009 at 10:26 AM
You still havent answered me Mitch!! Was that ESPN guy real!? If so, thats awesome
May 18th, 2009 at 9:37 PM
No Miss sally im afraid not… not real. No idea why the particular person did it. But as intelligent people know its my site and i can do anything I want like get the computers contact information or block the IP address.
So no more bullshit. yay.
May 21st, 2009 at 6:21 PM
So hes free now, and hes a punk. The guy doesnt deserve a second chance, if you can brutally kill dogs and set them up in death matches you need to shrivel up and die.
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:39 AM
FUCK MICHAEL VICK!!!!!!!!!!!
May 23rd, 2009 at 7:48 PM
{{{{{{{{{“I love dogs, dogs are awesome but the guy is looked upon as the most evil human being to ever live. You people are fucking morons. “>>>>>>>>I love dogs, dogs are awesome, but the guy is looked upon as the most evil human being to ever live. You people don’t know how fun dogfights are!}}}}}}}}}}}
Fixed it.
May 6th, 2010 at 6:45 PM
Damn Mitch, its like you can see the future…