Live Sacrifice for Brett Favre

Posted on 25 August 2009 by Mitch Higgins

goat_1-copyLive Sacrifice for Brett Favre

So I wake up this morning to some news that frightens me, but also makes me laugh my ass off.  In Winona, Minnesota a womans car broke down and she was forced to take it into a shop.  She explains she was on her way home and that there is a live goat in the trunk she plans to butcher.  Yes, a live goat prepped to be butchered.  While administering repairs the mechanic hears noises and banging around in the trunk.  After blood curdling screams of an animal the guy cracks open the trunk to find a goat painted completely purple with a number 4 shaved into its side.  The mechanic said it was tied up at the feet and had a sprinkle of gold along with the purple, the color of the Minnesota Vikings.

At this point I probably would have collapsed in a puddle of my own urine because I would be laughing so hard.  But the mechanic kept it together, called animal control and Mr. Goat was saved from brutal sacrifice to appease the football gods.

Theres still no word on whether the lady was cited or if any police action was taken, but from a lifelong Favre fan like myself, this is god damn hilarious.  I was under the impression butchering live animals in your home was something only practiced in the south, but this football fan proved me wrong.

So if you learned anything today kids, its that Favre is amazing and will drive people to animal sacrifice.


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This post was written by:

Mitch Higgins - who has written 52 posts on This Hot Fire.

Mitch Higgins is a published author with National Lampoon press and has over a decade of writing experience. And he has a super big penis

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6 Comments For This Post

  1. Keith says:

    Jesus. Football fans are fucking psychotic. AND I LOVE IT!! BBUWHAHAHAHA

  2. Joe says:

    Wow. I cant believe some psyhco redneck was going to sacrifice a fucking goat because of Favre, that is pretty damn funny.

  3. jakey jakey says:

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lets go FAVRE

  4. jonny says:

    Jesus christ. Are we talking burning at the stake? decapitiation? rectal trauma? What kind of sacrifice are we talking here?

  5. Dolly says:

    that is cruel, yet hilarious! woow… what did i just learn? That no one is completely sane in the world. If they tell u they are, they’re lying!

  6. Niema says:

    Oh ya, just had to comment on football. Holmes from the steelers goes to the jets for a 5th round draft pick!!!! 5th round, wow whats up with the retarded trades this year? Plus the jets must think their gonna win the SB with all these aquisitons

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