This Hot Fire Ridiculing pop culture like a hooker at a PTA meeting
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Archives

Subscribe via: RSS EMAIL

  • Mitchellanious
  • Previews
    • Movies coming soon
    • Video Games coming soon
  • Reviews
    • Movies
    • Music
    • T.V.
    • Video games
  • Sports

Categorized | Sports

Tags : brett favre, crazy fan story, crazy fans, crazy football fans, favre, goat sacrifice, minnesota goat sacrifice, purple goat

Live Sacrifice for Brett Favre

Posted on 25 August 2009

goat_1-copyLive Sacrifice for Brett Favre

So I wake up this morning to some news that frightens me, but also makes me laugh my ass off.  In Winona, Minnesota a womans car broke down and she was forced to take it into a shop.  She explains she was on her way home and that there is a live goat in the trunk she plans to butcher.  Yes, a live goat prepped to be butchered.  While administering repairs the mechanic hears noises and banging around in the trunk.  After blood curdling screams of an animal the guy cracks open the trunk to find a goat painted completely purple with a number 4 shaved into its side.  The mechanic said it was tied up at the feet and had a sprinkle of gold along with the purple, the color of the Minnesota Vikings.

At this point I probably would have collapsed in a puddle of my own urine because I would be laughing so hard.  But the mechanic kept it together, called animal control and Mr. Goat was saved from brutal sacrifice to appease the football gods.

Theres still no word on whether the lady was cited or if any police action was taken, but from a lifelong Favre fan like myself, this is god damn hilarious.  I was under the impression butchering live animals in your home was something only practiced in the south, but this football fan proved me wrong.

So if you learned anything today kids, its that Favre is amazing and will drive people to animal sacrifice.


  • Share/Bookmark

This post was written by:

Mitch Higgins - who has written 65 posts on This Hot Fire.

Mitch Higgins is a published author with National Lampoon press and has over a decade of writing experience. And he has a super big penis

Contact the author

6 Responses to “Live Sacrifice for Brett Favre”

  1. Keith says:
    August 25, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    Jesus. Football fans are fucking psychotic. AND I LOVE IT!! BBUWHAHAHAHA

  2. Joe says:
    August 25, 2009 at 12:32 PM

    Wow. I cant believe some psyhco redneck was going to sacrifice a fucking goat because of Favre, that is pretty damn funny.

  3. jakey jakey says:
    August 25, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lets go FAVRE

  4. jonny says:
    August 26, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    Jesus christ. Are we talking burning at the stake? decapitiation? rectal trauma? What kind of sacrifice are we talking here?

  5. Dolly says:
    October 3, 2009 at 10:01 PM

    that is cruel, yet hilarious! woow… what did i just learn? That no one is completely sane in the world. If they tell u they are, they’re lying!

  6. Niema says:
    April 12, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    Oh ya, just had to comment on football. Holmes from the steelers goes to the jets for a 5th round draft pick!!!! 5th round, wow whats up with the retarded trades this year? Plus the jets must think their gonna win the SB with all these aquisitons


Leave a Reply

Click here to cancel reply.

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »

More posts in this category

  • The Fight Football League
  • The First Decent UFC PPV in Months: UFC 117
  • Women and Sports
  • Ron Artest; Then and Now
  • The ESPY’s
  • This Categorys RSS Feed

Recent Comments

  • wes on Kings of Leon Owns Your Face
  • Kent Naill on Monkey Terrorists!
  • Mr. Angry Eyes on Kings of Leon Owns Your Face
  • Tiffany on Top 10 Video Games That Would Make Great Movies
  • Clement Bering on Big Video Games Still to Come in 2010
  • Issac Maez on Public Schools vs Prisons: Who eats worse?
  • Beth Simpson on Swine Flu = Bullshit
  • Kinsey barrera on No Fattys Allowed at Harry Potter Land
  • Brian Lappinga on The Internet Shut Off Switch
  • noni on 3D is Taking Over

Partners

Copyright © This Hot Fire.