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Categorized | Mitchellanious

Tags : billy mays, billy mays awesome, billy mays dead, billy mays died, billy mays memorium

Billy Mays is Dead. NOOOO!!

Posted on 28 June 2009

The always entertaining and loud pitchman… is dead.billymays1

Im not going to act like I have inside sources on this and how, or exactly when he died… so if this article comes back to bite me in the ass because he killed himself in guilt because Orange Glo killed Michael Jackson, Im sorry I report on what I know.

Sure all the douchebags out there have Michael Jacksons death, or Farah Fawcetts death to cry about.. I have Billy Mays.  A beloved pitchman who could yell with the best of them.  I still remember the first infomercial I ever saw with the black bearded god of pitch… OxiClean MAH FUCKA!  Removes stains, spills, and poop!  Oil, wine, even days left in the carpet!  I was an 8 year old kid, and he convinced me I wanted to clean a stained T-shirt in a big bucket of water by swirling it around in OxiClean. 

That infomercial lasted for years and years before saturday morning cartoons and after saturday morning cartoons.  The bearded manbeast has more recently blown up with him and the english guy teaming up in an informercial business and even more with the reality show “Pitchmen”.  Hes become a youtube GOD, with all kinds of spoof commericals re-edited and people mocking his in your face style.  But dammit he was awesome, I dont give a shit what anybody says!  Sure you get used car dealers yelling at you in commercials and its annoying, but this man had style.  He took care of business, and made money yelling about stuff.  I WANT THAT JOB!  SEE! IM YELLING RIGHT NOW!

In all seriousness, it sucks to see the guy go.  He was just hitting his prime and had everything going, and pitchmen wasnt really that bad. So lay down your thoughts in the comments for Ol’ Billy.


This post was written by:

Mitch Higgins - who has written 101 posts on This Hot Fire.

Mitch Higgins is a published author with National Lampoon press and has over a decade of writing experience. And he has a super big penis

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8 Responses to “Billy Mays is Dead. NOOOO!!”

  1. Crystal says:
    June 28, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    oh Billy Mays…how we will miss u
    he made me want to be in infomercials and stain my carpet in the hopes of seeing him appear….
    we will miss u dearly

  2. tony says:
    June 28, 2009 at 10:33 PM

    God dammit.. I liked his commercials. He sold me on everything.

    “Hi Billy Mays here! Would you like a hot metal rod jammed in your ass”

    Yes. Yes I would Billy mays, because I love you.

  3. Zac Magnum says:
    June 29, 2009 at 7:58 AM

    Good-night, sweet prince;
    And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

  4. eddie says:
    June 29, 2009 at 9:33 AM

    Dammit. Cant say much else. Just “Dammit”

  5. Phil says:
    June 30, 2009 at 12:53 AM

    Worst of all the recent celeb deaths.

  6. Zac Magnum says:
    July 1, 2009 at 9:35 PM

    NOW CRACKS A NOBLE HEART! OH BILLY MAYS!!!! Why are we men so temporary.

  7. pmd says:
    July 5, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    don’t see it as 7s as much as I do 3s. If 3s is the case then its 1. Ed McMahon 2. Michael Jackson 3. Farrah Fawcett. AND BILLY MAYS WILL GIVE YOU ONE MORE COMPLETELY FREEE!!!!

  8. frozen shoulder says:
    July 3, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    Thanks for such a kick but post, you rock!


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